


Operation: Endgame

by MsPerception427



Series: Operation 'Verse [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine is Over This Shit, College, F/F, F/M, Finding Your Lobster, Fluff and Angst, Glee Family, Lack of Communication, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multiple Pairings, New York Gleeks, Plot Twists, Pregnancy, Romantic Comedy, Scheming, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, pairings are subject to change - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8276302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsPerception427/pseuds/MsPerception427
Summary: The good news? Puck and Rachel are totally in love. The bad news? They both think the opposite. The worst news? Sam and Santana have a surefire plan to get them together. And exactly what are Quinn and Blaine up to?





	1. Phase 1: Recon

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is an old story I had posted on FF.net. I'm moving a lot of my stuff over here and decided to start with some of my Glee stuff. That's about it. Enjoy!

Phase 1: Recon

Santana Lopez sat with a magazine held high enough that to the average person she appeared to be reading, but low enough that it served her true purpose. And that was to spy on her target sitting at the table opposite the sofa she was casually sprawled across. Every now and then her eyes would dart down to the magazine in her hands before drifting back up to her unassuming victim. The sole focus of her attention was none other than her best friend, well the female one at any rate. She had been noticing that something was terribly wrong with Rachel for days now. She was using the plastic smile she used all the time when they were in glee. Santana thought she had seen the last of that smile when they graduated. But it had made its unwelcome return this week and she was not having that shit.

Of course, Rachel might have been acting off but that wasn't stopping her from being as stubborn as always. Santana had tried every trick in the book to get through to her best friend but to no avail. Rachel just wasn't talking and Santana was completely at a loss as to what she was supposed to be doing. She was even contemplating going to Quinn for advice on how to get through to Rachel and the thought of that alone made her shudder. She'd stick with the stalking and observations for awhile.

Rachel shifted and leaned back against her chair. "Santana, can I ask that if you're going to continue watching me, please move a little closer as it is very distracting having to look over that far."

Santana tossed her ignored magazine to the side and glared at her friend. "Why don't you just tell me what the hell is wrong with you so I don't have to keep watching you?"

Rachel looked over her shoulder to meet the Latina's gaze. "Nothing is wrong with me."

"Now why don't I believe you?" Santana paused, tapping a finger against her chin. "Oh, I know! Because I'm your roommate! I'm the one that you practice lines on. I know when you're acting. Hell, I know when you're putting up every fake face in the world because there was a time I was the cause behind those masks! I know how you operate, Rachel. And right now you might be a lot of things, but fine isn't one of them."

Rachel shifted again and looked away. Santana knew this was her opening and she was going to take full advantage of it. "Come on, Rach. We're supposed to be best friends. You're supposed to be able to tell me anything. It's like my job or something. Besides you're always there for me." Rachel gave her a half smile and joined her on the sofa. Santana flicked her on the arm and smirked. "So what's going on?"

"It's just that…" Rachel exhaled softly and looked down at her hands. "Noah is avoiding me."

"What? Why would you think that?

Of all the things it could have been, that was not what Santana was expecting. She arched an eyebrow as Rachel muttered something under her breath. She elbowed her friend until she repeated it louder. "Because he figured out how I feel about him."

"And how do you feel about him?"

"I love him."

Santana was beyond confused by this point. "Why would he be avoiding you because of that? You love all of us. You tell us that every day. It's a little weird. But it's one of your things."

"No, San. I love him love him."

A moment of silence passed over the two young women that seemed to stretch on for hours as realization settled over the former Cheerio. Her mouth opened and closed several times before she finally settled only what to say.

"Oh."

Rachel let out a deep breath. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Now you're probably going to avoid me too," she started to get up but Santana grabbed her arm.

"Hey, slow your roll, midget. I'm not going to avoid you because you're in love with Puckerman. You're still my bestie and you always will be no matter who you fall in love with. Even if it's Blaine again but seriously how many times can you try and turn a gay man straight?" Rachel smiled tearfully. "Now, why do you think he knows that you love him like that? This is Puck, we're talking about. Three years of college has not made him any less emotionally constipated."

Rachel tucked a strand of hair behind her head. "It was a few days ago. You know that I have that workshop in the fall and we're supposed to be composing an original song about love. Well Noah has been helping me write while we're here. Anyway, I guess I got a little worked up, and I started crying or something." She flushed and Santana knew she was expected to laugh but all she could think about was smashing the heads of whoever made her best friend sad in the first place. Seeing this, Rachel continued her story.

"Anyway, Noah just came over and hugged me. And it felt… right. His arms felt good around me. And I felt safe and I realized that I love him. And I think… that I might have said it out loud."

"Oh."

"After that he got really tense and then pulled away really quickly. He left the room and I haven't been in a room with him for more than five seconds since then."

Santana rested her hand on Rachel's knee. "Rach, babe, I think you might be making this out to be way worse than it really is. It's Puck! He probably didn't even know what you meant by that. And he's probably not avoiding you. He might be busy. I know that he's been obsessing over those new plans his professor sent him."

"Maybe," Rachel agreed quietly. She slouched down further on the sofa clearly deep in thought. Suddenly the door to the den swung open and Santana looked over her shoulder to see the boy in question standing in the doorway. His eyes were darting around the room, clearly searching for something. Clearly whatever he was looking for was not there as he started to relax. That is until Rachel sat up to see who was in the room.

A total look of panic filled Puck's eyes as his hazel gaze landed on Rachel. His mouth opened before slamming shut. He bolted out the door before either of the two women could react. Rachel turned back around and stared at her hands, willing away tears that were sliding down her face carelessly. "You see? He can't be in a room with me. He knows how I feel and he hates me." Her voice cracked, putting an end to Santana's resolve against hugging.

"Hey, it's okay, B. If that's the reason why he's avoiding you, then we'll work it out. Just don't worry about it anymore. We'll figure it out, I promise." She sat back on the seat, pulling Rachel with her. They stayed in that position for awhile enjoying the peace that they sometimes only found with one another. Finally, after Rachel's quiet sobs slowed down, Santana pulled back in order to get more information.

"Let's see if I can piece this together. You've probably been in love with Puck since that whole week of dating back in high school but then there was the whole Beth/Quinn thing. Then you were with St. Douche and Finn. Then he was with Lauren. Then you were with Finn again. And then there was she who shall not be named less I go and cut that bitch."

The bitch in question was the two year mistake known as Shelly Meyers. She invaded their lives mid freshmen year at an open mic night held at their school. Puck lost a bet with Santana and was forced to perform solo. If Santana had known all that would come from that performance, she would have settled for forcing him to attend classes in a dress as was suggested by Blaine. Shelly heard him sing and melted. The worst part was that he melted as well. For the better part of two years, Puck was hooked on Shelly. Too bad Shelly was hooked on several others as well. They had only just now managed to get Puck almost back to normal. Their summer vacation at the Fabray family summer home was a large part of the plan to get him over Shelly. Nowhere in there did Santana think that she was going to have to get Rachel over Puck.

"Now you're both single," Santana finished up. "And you're completely confused."

Rachel gave her a weak smile that was still brighter than anything she had managed that week. "Anyone ever tell you know you know me so well?"

"Just you, once or twice. Oh, and your dads, like every day. I think we used to scare them senior year."

Rachel snickered. "We did. They said they were glad we spent the majority of our years at each other's throats because they couldn't imagine the chaos we would have caused if we had teamed up sooner."

"That will always be my biggest regret," Santana said wistfully. "We could have run McKinley."

"As opposed to how we totally ran McKinley in the end?"

"Yeah, in the end. If we had just realized that we're practically the same in the beginning we could have had that whole school on their knees freshmen year."

Rachel rolled her eyes but this time her smile was more genuine. "Thanks, San. For you know…"

"No, thanks," Santana shrugged. "We're besties. It's what we do. Besides you're the only one that takes my problems seriously."

"That's because most people wouldn't see the CW's refusal to cancel '90210' as a legitimate problem."

"Most people don't, but you do. That's all I really need," Santana grinned broadly. This succeeded in putting a much needed real smile on Rachel's face. Satisfied with this, Santana clapped her hands together. "Let's go out. To like the movies or something. I've been dying to see that new Leonardo DiCaprio movie."

"Alright, but I know how he gets you all hot and bothered. If you end up in my bed again by 'accident', I'm totally telling Brittany."

Santana narrowed her eyes. "You do and I'm totally telling Puck about you know what."

Rachel gave her a betrayed look. "You'd really tell him about how I feel?"

"Not that, midget. It's actually way worse than that." She leaned forward, a smirk tugging on her lips. "I'll tell him about Mr. Wubbies."

Rachel's eyes widened before narrowing in rage. "You wouldn't dare."

"All's fair in war, bitch!" Santana sprang up from her seat. "I wonder if Mr. Wubbies is in his usual hiding spot. Oh, I know! Let's go find out!"

With that, Santana raced out of the room and towards the bedroom Rachel had claimed as her own, intent on finding Rachel's beloved stuffed animal. She heard her best friend racing after her screaming threats of bodily harm and various others insults that shouldn't be repeated in polite company, much less coming out of Rachel Berry's mouth. Santana was so proud.  
____________________________________________________________________  
While Santana was comforting a depressed Rachel in the den, a panicked Puck was backpedaling away from the room as quickly as possible, which is why he failed to notice Sam coming up behind him until he found his backward motion stopped. He whirled around to find a highly amused Sam standing behind him.

"Hey, dude. What's up?"

"Interesting question," Sam grinned. "What are you running away from?" he started to walk towards the den but Puck pulled him back. "Still avoiding Rachel, huh?"

Puck narrowed his eyes at his so called best friend, well the male one anyway. This whole people knowing him better than he knew himself thing was getting really old. He never had this problem when he was best friends with Finn. Primarily because Finn was too self absorbed to even realize that there were other people with feelings out there.

He sighed and ran a hand over his head. It was times like this that he really missed his Mohawk. "Look, if I tell you this, you have to promise not tell anyone. And I mean anyone, not even Blaine or Rachel. Especially not Rachel."

"Lips are sealed," Sam promised, making a zipper motion across his lips. "So what's going on?"

"Lips aren't exactly sealed if you're still talking, dude."

"Puck," Sam said, warning clear in his tone.

Puck groaned and ran a hand over his face. "Okay, so I fucked up."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Okay… that was purposely vague. What did you fuck up?"

"Probably my life, Rachel's life, and pretty much our lives in general," Puck laughed bitterly. "I fucking fell in love with her."

"In love with who? With Rachel?" Sam asked, answering his question. Still Puck was inclined to answer as well. He gave a weak nod before bowing his head. Sam could see the weariness hanging over his friend. Sensing that this conversation was a lot heavier than it should be standing in front of the den, he ushered his friend upstairs to his room.

"Now," Sam began once Puck was sitting on his desk chair. "When did all this start? Because you've been acting pretty weird all week."

"It's been longer than that," Puck replied, quietly. "I think... no, I know I've been in love with Rachel since we were freshmen in high school. Its part of the reason I threw a slushy at her. I didn't want other guys seeing what I saw. What I still see in her."

"I always wondered about the slushies."

"I never said I was the smartest guy around. I really thought she would be able to see what I really meant by throwing the slushy. There is a reason that Satan calls me emotionally constipated. But anyway, I knew that I felt something for her. But it wasn't until we dated for that week that I knew that I loved her. I really love her. But she was always with someone else. First it was Jesse St. Jerkface and then it was Hudson. And now…"

"Now, you're both single. So what's the problem? Why are you avoiding her?"

"You know that workshop shit she's got in the fall?" Sam nodded. "Well, I've been helping her write her song. Anyway, we were working on it and she just started crying out of nowhere. So I was like hugging her because you know… crying girl. Crying Rachel. So I hugged and it felt so right, dude. Like I was meant to do that. And then she just says, 'thanks, Noah. I really love you.

"That's when it hit me. She'll never think of me as more than just her friend. I'm not like Finn or Jesse or any of the guys she's shown interest in. I'm not nice like Finn. I'm not like Jesse either. I don't understand that musical shit. I still call it that musical shit!"

Sam shrugged. "That's never stopped you before. You've never been scared to put yourself out there."

"I guess that I just don't have it in me anymore."

Sam ran a hand through his hair and sighed in understanding. Shelly. If there was ever a time in his life that he wanted to punch a girl in the face, it would've been the day that she ripped his best friend's heart out. Though he would never hit a girl himself, he did feel a not so small sense of satisfaction when Santana punched the girl hard enough to almost break her nose. As Sam watched Puck mope on his chair, he wanted to drive back to the city and have Santana hit her again until she actually broke her nose.

"Look at the risk of having an even bigger chick moment than we already are, think about it this way. All those other dudes are gone. She barely talks to Finn anymore. And the last time she saw Jesse I believe she, Quinn, Kurt and Brittany were tossing hardboiled eggs at him. None of those other guys have lasted more than two dates. But you, you're still here. So that's got to say something about how she feels about you."

Puck nodded but remained unconvinced. "And even if she thinks of you as just a friend. Think about it this way, she loves Santana even though Santana is almost constantly hitting on her. I think she could handle you being in love with her." Puck gave a wan smile. "Besides, it's going to be pretty hard avoiding her when you have three classes with her this fall. It was your genius move to have her transfer to NYU from Julliard, remember?"

"Ugh, you're right," Puck grunted. "About everything. It's just that… I need some time to work through all this. You know? I gotta get this out of my system. I don't want to hurt her. And I don't want to screw up everything we've all got going on here. And I….."

"Don't want to get hurt again. It's cool. You can say it. I don't want you getting hurt again either. So take your time. Figure it out and just know that I'll be here as long as you need me."

Puck nodded and closed his eyes thoughtfully. When he finally opened his eyes, a ghost of his familiar smirk was on his face. "You know for a big mouthed geek, you're not so bad, Sammy."

Sam rolled his eyes and was about to retort when they heard a loud commotion in the hallway. Both young men rose and walked over to the closed bedroom door. Sam opened the door in time to see Santana racing by with a pink and blue stuffed animal clutched in her hands. Rachel was after her seconds later, screaming about dumb Mexican whores and something about Mr. Wubbies. She succeeded in tackling the former Cheerio a few feet away from where Sam and Puck stood. After a few minutes of tickling her fallen opponent, Rachel succeeding in liberating the stuffed toy and sauntering back into her room with her prize held safely in her arms.

"Everyone in this house is insane."

Puck arched an eyebrow. "You're just not realizing that? Maybe you need to open your eyes as wide as that mouth of yours."

"And on that note," Sam huffed and pushed his friend out the door. "Get out."

"Love you too, Sammy!" Puck shouted to the closed door. He grinned and turned around to see Rachel coming out of her room again. Time seemed to stretch on for the pair as they stood staring at each other. Puck fought the urge to go to her. His hand twitched and he clutched it into a tight fist. Just as Rachel finally worked up the nerve to approach him, Puck mumbled an excuse that sounded feeble to his own ears before pounding on Sam's door. His friend let him in after catching sight of Rachel over his shoulder without a word.  
____________________________________________________________________  
Sam paced back and forth contemplating his actions very carefully. What he was about to do violated the bro code but he couldn't just let this be. Puck was like his brother and that meant that he had to do something about this situation. Even if it meant making a literal deal with Satan herself. Sure Santana was sarcastic, bitchy and intensely insane but she was also Puck's best friend with the side benefit of being BFF with Rachel. If there was anyone he could talk to about this it would be Santana. Besides his actual first choice was verbally negated by Puck and had a bad habit of gossiping to his boyfriend who had a worse habit of gossiping to the entire world. So no, Blaine was out and Santana was in. Telling her would be okay. Or at least that was what he would keep telling himself to help him sleep at night.

"Trouty mouth, stop pacing and tell me what you want already," Santana ordered, never lifting her gaze from the LSAT guide on her lap. Sam opened his mouth to reply but suddenly had second thoughts. And then third. Finally, he settled down beside his ex-girlfriend. She looked up and poked him on the shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"What would you do if someone told you something that was supposed to be a secret but you thought it was bad for them and everyone around them?"

Santana looked intrigued and the study guide was quickly abandoned to the floor. "Well, I guess I would look for the closest person I could trust with this secret and tell them absolutely everything right then and there," she paused and looked at him through her eyelashes. "You trust me. Right, Sammy?"

"A little less when you look at me like that."

"If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine," Santana promised with a singsong tone. "And mine is a good one. It's all about unrequited love and all that epic shit."

"Damn it, Puck told you too? He totally made it seem like I was the only one."

"Puck? I was talking about Rachel."

"Rachel?"

Santana's eyes widened and she was suddenly standing. "Oh my god! Puck is in love with someone that doesn't love him back too? This someone wouldn't happen to be Rachel would it?"

Sam sat quietly for a few minutes contemplating the right way to answer that. If he nodded, he wasn't exactly telling so much as confirming Santana's already correct suspicions. On the other hand, this was Santana. Come to think of it, this whole plan wasn't well thought through. Santana was only considered the second most insane member of the New York gleeks because she hadn't sent someone to a crack house. However, one did have to wonder where Rachel learned about the crack houses in the first place. Wait, Santana was still talking. It didn't pay to not be listening when she was talking with that look in her eye.

"This is perfect! Puck loves Rachel and Rachel loves Puck!"

"Who said Puck loves Rachel?" Sam asked weakly. "I didn't say that and what makes you think that Rachel loves Puck?"

"Well," Santana shrugged. "I guess since you're not telling me that Puck loves Rachel, I'm not telling you that Rachel loves Puck"

Sam's brow furrowed as he tried to process what his former girlfriend was saying. "But you just did."

"Shut it, Bieber! The point is that they're both clueless and hopelessly and pathetically in love with each other. There is only one logical thing we can do here."

Sam sighed heavily. He knew this was going to come back and bite him in the ass. He was so going to Blaine the next time something like this happened. "Tell them everything and let them work it out for themselves?" he asked, hopefully.

"Of course not!" Santana said sounding scandalized. "If we tell them they will never trust us again. Could you really live knowing that Puck and Rachel hate you because you couldn't keep that big mouth of yours shut and told me, me of all people, everything? Probably less than an hour after he told you too."

"It was an hour and a half," Sam protested feebly. "So what do we do then? Just let them go on avoiding each other?"

"Nope! We help them."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to like this am I?"

"What's there not to like? How can you doubt me?" she asked, a little too innocently.

"Ask me that again when we're allowed back in the Aquarium and the restraining order against the seal trainer expires."

"Britt wanted to free the seals," Santana shrugged as if the madness and chaos that resulted in him, Brittany, Santana, Puck and Blaine being ruled as persona non grata at the New York Aquarium was normal. Then again he remembered who he was dealing with. Really all of this was his fault. He should have just stayed in Ohio.

"Come on, Sam! Don't you want to help Puck?"

"What are you thinking?"

"We're just going to push them together. That's all. Stick with me, Sammy. By the end of the week, they'll be happily together and they'll never know that you can't keep a secret."

"Me?" he squeaked. "Why is this my fault? And who said I was even agreeing to actually helping you?"

"Oh, you'll help or I'll tell Puck that I know because you told me." Sam winced. "You've seen how Puck can get when he feels betrayed and angry. The man participated in a Fight Club for fun."

What Santana was leaving out but Sam was all too aware of was another incident during their senior year of high school. It was right after Blaine had left the Warblers and had transferred to McKinley. He and Kurt were walking down the hallway when a few of the hockey players decided to meet with them. Puck had seen the whole thing from where he stood unobserved in the hallway and decided to mess back. The hockey jerks had bruises for months and it was made clear from that day forward that Kurt, Blaine and all of the gleeks were off limits. The best part was that Puck hadn't even touched a single one of the team. He instead organized the other football players.

Sam was all too aware of the calculating mind that lurked under Noah Puckerman's no longer mohawked head. He knew that Puck was fully capable of extracting very calculated ad horrible revenge on anyone who he felt may have wronged him. The smirk playing across Santana's lips let him know that she was fully aware of this as well.

"Okay! I'm in. Just so you know, you're going to make a great lawyer, Satan. You've already got the evil and manipulative part down. So what's our first step?"

Santana's eyes darkened in the thought. Sam was certain that the cat that ate the canary could not look as smug as the former Cheerio did in that moment.

"The first step is research, Sammy. In order to get this plan in motion, we've got to study the classics. We're off to the library of the greatest schemes and plots in history."

"And that is?"

"The movie section at Best Buy, dumbass. Where else?"

Sam groaned but shuffled off to find his sneakers and car keys. "This is only going to end in bloodshed and tears."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Rachel and Puck try to get over each other, Sam and Santana continue their plot and Blaine and Quinn are bored until they're not.

Phase 2: Research

It was a simple plan. It honestly required little real thought or effort on his part. Hell, even Finn in all his limited cognition and drunk out of his mind could manage this feat. That pretty much summed up every Saturday night when they were in high school and he was pretty sure that continued in college for Finn as well. So if Finn, drunken Finn at that, could manage it, there was no reason in the world why an infinitely more intelligent and sober Noah Puckerman could not go to the bathroom. All he had to do was walk out his bedroom door, go down the hall and there it was. So why was he still sitting there even though it felt like his bladder was about to burst?

Oh yeah, because the room next to the bathroom just so happened to be the room of the one person he was trying his damnedest to avoid. He groaned as once again his thoughts drifted towards Rachel. The point, he reminded himself, of avoiding her was to keep from going crazy thinking about her. But apparently, the old saying was true: absence really does make the heart go fonder.

"Fuck!" he lifted the pillow over his head and screamed in frustration. "I've got to get over this stupid crush! It's fucking killing me!"

Even as he said, he knew he was wrong. He wasn't crushing on Rachel. He was in love and that hurt even worse. If it was just a crush, then it would have been even easier to get over her but he was in love with everything that made Rachel Berry, well Rachel Berry. He loved her determination, her intensity, her passion, her smile…. he crushed the pillow against his face. This was clearly not working.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Puck sat up straight looking at the wooden object as if he could see through to the other side. Out of the six individuals currently staying at the house, only two of them knocked. Sam, because he claimed to walked in one too many times on things he claimed could not be unseen, and Rachel, because she was actually polite and respected people's wishes for privacy. And because she was smart enough to realize that she would probably be walking in on something potentially mentally scarring especially while living with Santana, Blaine and Puck.

Puck's heart thundered in his chest as he climbed to his feet. As he knew for a fact that Sam was out because Santana had dragged him off on some scheme that she had cooked up, that only left one possible person. He called out for the person to come in. The door opened hesitantly and then there she was. He frowned at the sight of normally bright and cheery Rachel.

There were bags under her eyes like she hadn't been sleeping well. He loved her eyes but they were suspiciously red-rimmed. Had she been crying? And if she was, why? Was it over one of those guys she had been seeing before they left for the summer? Or, a small part of his mind dared to hope, was she crying for him? Then again he really didn't want Rachel crying because that would imply that she was sad but if she were sad for him… maybe she felt the same way after all? Wait, her lips were moving. Puck stopped his train of thoughts to tune into what Rachel was saying.

"Puck," Rachel started. It was weird hearing his nickname coming from Rachel. She'd been calling him Noah since they met. She was pretty much the only one who could get away with it consistently. So to hear Puck coming from her lips caused a small flinch. "I just wanted to clarify about what happened last week."

Puck swallowed and he knew he had to have paled slightly because he definitely felt dizzy at the moment. Yet he nodded anyway. "Go ahead."

She fidgeted nervously, chewing on her lip absently. "It was an accident." She shoved her hands in the pockets of her shorts and continued to fidget. Not that Puck was observing any of this as her words echoed in his head. He stared at his fellow Jew blankly. "I promise it won't happen again."

'I disgust you that much?' Puck wondered. He started to back away from the door when Rachel's hand shot out and held onto his. Unconsciously, his hand curled around hers. "I don't want to lose your friendship, Noah."

Puck smiled wanly and looked down at their joined hands. His friendship. If any of those tears were for him, they were for his friendship. But that's not what he wanted. He wanted more. He wanted her. But if that was the only way to have Rachel, then so be it. "Of course you won't, Rach," he choked out before looking down at her. "I'm glad you clarified that."

"Yeah," Rachel let go of his hand. An awkward silence passed between them as they stood in the doorway watching each other. "So I'm going to go now. I've got, um, work. Reading to do for classes in the fall. I want to get a… head start."

Yet another awkward silence. When did the silences between them become awkward? This was the same woman that showed up at his door the morning after his breakup with Shelly with two buckets of paint and helped him repaint his bedroom in the apartment he shared with Blaine and Sam because he needed a fresh start. They then laid down in the middle of the room, enjoying the peace and quiet and doing nothing more than just watching the paint dry. But it seemed those days were gone and Puck was starting to think that they were never coming back.

"I guess I'll see you later then."

"Sure," Rachel nodded. "Later."

She then turned on her heel and walked away from the door as quickly as possible, obviously glad to have gotten the whole miserable affair over with. Puck flopped back on his bed. Sam was wrong. This clearly was not going to be okay. He contemplating writing a song about it but that felt way too much like a Rachel move. He decided he would do the opposite and get wasted. Nothing like a few bottles of Jack to make you forget everything.

Rachel stopped a few feet away from Puck's door in an effort to calm her frayed nerves. She pulled her still shaking hands out of her pockets and took a deep shaky breath. That had gone about as well as she expected it to when she first had the idea an hour ago. It took her the entire hour to gather her nerve and bury her heart deep enough to lie to the person she loved. Then again, it wasn't nearly as hard as she thought it would be once she saw the frown on his face upon opening the door. Once she saw that look, it wasn't so hard to tell Puck what an accident the whole thing was. But now the adrenaline that had been fueling her thought the confession was wearing off and reality was settling in.

She told him it didn't mean anything and that it would never happen again. The worst part was the tense smile that had spread across his face like he didn't believe her and couldn't wait to be rid of her. Rachel ran a hand through her hair and sighed. Santana was wrong. This wasn't going to be okay. How could it be when a little piece of her felt like it just died?

She took another moment to compose herself and then started the short distance back to her room. Suddenly the semi-peaceful environment of the house was shattered as the front door slammed open. "Santana and Sam are back," she muttered. She shook her head and opened the door to her room just as she heard Puck's door open. She glanced over her shoulder to see a look of confusion pass over his face. A smile pulled at her lips. She heard his protesting grumble as she slipped into her room leaving him to deal with the fuming Sam.  
___________________________________________________________  
Puck only had a second to enjoy seeing Rachel smiling at him before he was very suddenly reminded why he sometimes hated that he was sharing a house for the summer with people he saw every day during the school year. Less than a few seconds after the front door slammed open, a very red Sam was stomping up the stairs. He stopped short upon seeing Puck standing in the hall.

"Come on, you big baby!" Santana yelled from downstairs. "It wasn't that bad!"

"What did you let her talk you into this time?" Puck asked with an amused smirk.

Sam rolled his eyes. "If you only knew," he mumbled under his breath.

"Trouty Mouth! Get your shit together. We have to do this before those two find out!" Santana continued to yell as she came up the stairs carrying a plastic bag that was bursting at the seams. She grinned sheepishly upon seeing the two men standing together. "Oh, hey there, Puck."

"What are you two up... this time?" Puck asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "This better have nothing to do with what we talked about, Sam."

Sam flushed but managed a look of mock offense. "Noah Aaron Puckerman, I cannot believe that you think so little of me to even suggest something like that."

Both eyebrows rose as Puck continued to stare down his best friend. "Samuel Michael Evans, get over it. I know you, remember? Look, I don't care if you told San. I probably would have gotten around to doing it anyway. There was a reason I told you first, Sammy."

Sam let out a sigh of relief as Santana let out of outraged squeal. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"He means that obviously I'm more mature than you and wouldn't go blabbing his secret to the first available person," Sam said smugly. Santana glared at him, very tempted to tell Puck that was in fact exactly what Sam had done. But that would involve telling him about Rachel, which was not part of the plan. So she settled for continuing to glare at the blonde.

"So what are you two working on this time?"

"We're trying to get even with Blaine."

"For what now? Wait, you know what, I don't even want to know. Just leave me out of this one, alright?"

"Done and done," Sam grinned. He pulled a still glaring Santana with him into his room. Puck shook his head at his friend's antics. His gaze flickered to Rachel's closed door. Suddenly, that bottle of Jack was looking less appealing. Maybe he'd just look over those plans his professor sent him again. He was really hoping to make a good impression with his professor this semester. It might lead to a possible job after graduation. He walked back into his room, quietly marveling over Rachel's continued influence over him. Damn, he was so beyond whipped. But he had been since the tenth grade.  
___________________________________________________________  
"That was close," Sam said as he flopped back onto his bed. He looked up to see Santana still glaring at him. "What?"

The Latina didn't reply, instead choosing to fling a pillow at him. "Better now."

"Freak," Sam muttered. His previous anger was starting to make a comeback as he looked at his partner in crime. "I still can't believe you made me buy all these chick flicks!"

"Why? It's not like you don't secretly love them," Santana shot back snidely. "I seem to remember finding a copy of Love Story in your room last month."

"Shut up," Sam grumbled. "It's a classic."

"Whatever. What the hell did he mean he told you first for a reason? I'm his best friend. He should have told me first!"

"You're also the same person that has decided that chick flicks, Cosmo and the first three seasons of Grey's Anatomy are the answer to how to get Puck and Rachel together."

"What's your point?"

"That for someone with a nearly 4.0 GPA, you're kinda slow. Now let's just get this over with. Put one of those crappy movies and pass me my notebook. If we're going to research, then we're gonna do this right."

"Oh, I got the perfect one, Second Time's The Charm."

Sam dragged the bag closer and pulled out the stack of magazines and DVDs. "I don't think we bought that one."

Santana pulled out the receipt and checked it before handing it over to Sam. "Yeah, we did. See, its right there."

"We really spent a hundred dollars on chick cancer?"

"It's for Puck and Rachel," Santana replied in a singsong voice, still rifling through the pile of DVDs and magazines. "If we bought it, then where the hell is it?"

The pair sat in confused silence for a minute contemplating the answer. Finally, Sam's eyes landed on the bag. "Was the bag broken before we got up here?"

Santana pursed her lips. "Yeah. You don't think…."

"No, not thinking is your thing," Sam snapped. "Dude, it probably fell out downstairs when you were walking upstairs."

"Oh, shit," Santana hissed. "Blaine and Q are down there. They see that and they're going want to watch with us. And that's so not conducive to researching."

Sam blinked. "Really, San? Really."

"Look, one of us just has to go down there and get it back before either one of them can see it."

"Who says they didn't already?"

"Well then I guess you better hurry, Sammy."

Sam sat up. "Me? Why do I have to be the one?"

"Because I said so, Trouty Mouth! Now go!"

With a long suffering sigh and an overwhelming feeling that this was all going to explode in his face, Sam reluctantly climbed to his feet to retrieve the missing DVD. "I hope you know that I hate you, San. I hate everything about you."

"Three Days Grace sang it better and hotter. Just go get our chick cancer back!"

Sam groaned. The things he did for his friends.  
___________________________________________________________  
Blaine tapped his legs restlessly as he waited for something to happen. He wasn't entirely sure what he was expecting to happen but he just felt like something should be happening. Of course this could be attributed to the fact that was missing his boyfriend. Kurt was still in the city working a summer internship at a major fashion line. Blaine was happy for him, he really was. And he knew it was for a good cause but he couldn't help but wish that Kurt was here with him enjoying the sun, the beach and the absolute lack of anything to do.

The entire house was eerily quiet except for the television playing in the living room. Sam and Santana had left a few hours ago on some mission that he decided to stay away from for sanity's purposes. Nothing like a restraining order from the Aquarium to give you a much needed reality check. Rachel and Puck were in their rooms last time he checked. Quinn was sprawled on the sofa next to him watching the screen with a glazed over look in her eyes. Apparently she was waiting for something to happen as well.

Suddenly the front door slammed open and Sam burst through the door. Without even sparing them a second glance, he raced up the stairs, presumably towards his room. The commotion had the desired effect of waking Quinn from her boredom induced stupor as she sat up. "What was that about?"

"Oh come on," Santana yelled as she walked in the house a few seconds behind Rob. "It wasn't that bad, you big baby!" she paused to give a nod of acknowledgment towards Quinn and Blaine before following in the blonde's path.

"Okay, what the hell was that?"

"Just San and Sam being weird again," Quinn shrugged, turning her attention back to the television. Blaine could see that she was still thinking as her jaw tensed. "Although, they've been acting weirder than usual lately."

"How so?'

"Well for the past two days they've been doing everything together and holing up in a room with the door closed and locked."

"Wait, how do you know that the door was locked?"

Quinn gave him a look. "That's so not the point of the story, Hogwarts. The point is that they've been weirder than usual. I think something is going on with them."

Blaine nodded slightly. He had noticed that there was definitely something going on with them. While it wasn't uncommon to find Santana and Sam together, the amount of time they had been spending together, alone, lately was interesting. Blaine was about to reply when he noticed something by the front door.

"What's this?" he got up and walked over to where Santana had been standing earlier. "Second Time's the Charm?" he flipped the DVD over and stared up at Quinn with wide eyes. "They're watching chick flicks?"

Quinn joined him in staring at the DVD as if it were an alien entity. "What? I could never get Sam to watch that kind of movie with me when we were dating. He would always whine about it being 'chick cancer'."

Just then they heard footsteps on the stairs. They dropped the case and scrambled back to the couches. Sam crept down the stairs and checked quickly to make sure that neither of his friends was paying him any attention. Satisfied that they were watching television, he quickly scooped up the fallen DVD and ran back up the stairs. As soon as they were sure he was gone, Blaine and Quinn turned to each other.

"That was a chick flick, right? Like I didn't just make up the fact that somehow or another Santana Lopez got Sam 'I don't do chick flicks' Evans to watch chick flicks?"

"No," Blaine shook his head. "You didn't make that up. They definitely are watching chick movies together. Without us I might add."

Quinn chewed on her lip thoughtfully. "Blaine… I think that Santana and Sam might be… together… again."

"But isn't Santana with Brittany?"

The blonde former cheerleader scoffed. "One thing you need to learn about Santana is that for her sex and gender is fluid. She and Brittany are together as long as they're under the same roof. Look around. Do you see Brittany?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow at the slightly bitter tone but wisely chose to let it go. "So what are we going to do about this?"

"What is there to do about that?"

"Confront them in a non threatening manner and assure them that no matter what we're still their friends even if they break poor Brittany's heart?"

"How long until Britt gets done with that dance program?"

"About a month."

"I say we follow them and wait to catch them in the act."

Blaine frowned. "We're really bored aren't we?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's something to do."

"Hmm, potentially damaging not two but three of our friends for our simple pleasure and amusement," he mulled the idea over in his head. "When do we start?"  
___________________________________________________________  
Sam felt a shiver run down the back of his spine. He was suddenly and inexplicably filled with terror and dread. Though the more he thought about it that probably had something to do with the almost seven hours of movies and magazines he and Santana had poured through.

"Okay, San. We've watched like three more episodes of Grey's Anatomy than I would ever care to watch, read more issues of Cosmo than I care to think about and have watched what quite possibly could be the worst movie ever. What the hell have we learned from all this and make it good."

Santana wiped a hand over her blank face and looked up at Sam from her reclining position on the floor. "Apparently women really like to cry… a lot. Doctors are all incredibly attractive and have way better sex lives than all of us combined."

"Besides that, genius. What did we learn that can actually help Rachel and Puck? Or are you finally willing to admit that there was no point to this other than to annoy me?"

"Not everything is about you, Trouty Mouth. As a matter of fact, I did learn something useful."

"That is?" Sam asked, skeptically.

"Women love a hero. For some stupid ass reason, women seem to want to be saved. So we need to set up a situation where Puck saves Rachel."

Sam blinked. "You're purposely going to create a situation that places the woman you've claimed as your best friend for the past five years in danger on the off chance that the man you've claimed as a best friend for the past eleven years will save her and they confess their feelings for one another?"

"You're leaving out the part where there will be soft, romantic music swelling in the background," Santana added, dryly. "Listen up, this is the plan."

It was then that Sam learned a very valuable lesson in keeping his mouth shut. If he had only learned that lesson earlier and kept Puck's secret to himself, he wouldn't be sitting here on his bed listening to what had to be one of the stupidest ideas ever uttered. And that included the time in high school when he got so drunk that he actually believed Mike when he said he could fly. That douche. He was grateful that Puck was sober enough to realize that best friend on roof could only lead to badness and had called 911. Otherwise he probably would have frozen to death waiting for Mike and Finn to come back with the promised ladder.

Come to think of it, Puck was really always the one that was there for him. For someone who was a self proclaimed badass, Puck really was a pushover when it came to his friends. There had been plenty of times when Sam needed him and his best friend was there. And after everything that went down with Shelly, it was way past time that Puck got what he deserved out of life. So even though there were a million holes in this plan and it would inevitably go horribly wrong, Sam couldn't help but smile at Santana.

"What?" she asked, warily.

"Nothing. I just figured it was time I stopped bitching and started helping. We both want the same thing."

Santana blinked and a soft smile appeared on her face. It had been awhile since he'd seen that smile. She looked like a different person when she smiled like that. She looked happier. "You know, you're not so bad sometimes, Trouty Mouth."

"Thank you, Satan."

"You're welcome. Now back to Operation: Endgame."

"Endgame?"

"Everyone knows Puckleberry is Endgame," Santana rolled her eyes. "Just like Klaine and Chang-Squared. It's just something everyone knows."

"What about you?"

"I'm with Brittany," she reminded him absently. "Another thing that was just assumed."

Sam nodded his head but he felt the change in the room. He thought that Santana was happy in her relationship with Brittany. True, they'd barely seen each other this summer between Brittany's dance programs and Santana's internship, but Sam thought they were happy. They always looked disgustingly adorable whenever they were together at any rate. Not that he spent a lot of time looking at them. Actually he tried to avoid it. If he focused too long, he got sick from the cuteness. But there was no sign of that right now. Santana just looked... lost. He poked her on the shoulder causing her to look up from the Cosmo article that she was only pretending to read.

"Want to take a break from the plotting and watch some more movies? Some of them are okay in that so bad they're good kind of way."

Santana smiled once more before nodding her head. He put one of the movies on and lay back on the bed. She lay down on his other side and rested her head on his chest as they watched the movie. Midway during the movie, his free arm slid up around her shoulders. As he started to drift off, lulled by Santana's quiet breathing and the ridiculous plot of the movie, he wondered why they never did anything like this while they were dating. He lost track of how many movie nights ended like this once they broke up. But he wondered why they never had moments like this when they were actually together. It was nice.

He took a deep breath and enjoyed this moment. Because once they woke up, Phase Two of Operation Endgame went into effect and he was pretty sure that was going to end with him getting his ass kicked by two angry Jews.


	3. Phase 3: White Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rachel is avoiding Puck who is still avoiding her, the gleeks go clubbing, someone meets the business end of a baseball bat and Quinn and Santana know things. You know?

Phase 3: White Knight

Rachel lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling. There was nothing of any real interest up there but it gave her something to do that didn't have her mind going to the bad place. The bad place being where all thoughts of Noah Puckerman resided. Until this summer she never would have thought of that part of her brain as the bad place. There had always been a connection between her and Puck. Even from when he threw the first slushy at her. As she stood there covered in the cold, sticky beverage, she had looked into his eyes and it was almost like he was trying to tell her something. The message was still not received during the subsequent daily slushies that followed. She never hated him for it even though she really tried because he was the only one that ever slushied her. It was almost like it was an unspoken rule that Rachel was only to be slushied by Puck. It was almost like his own barbaric way of protecting her. That shouldn't be sweet or even likable but Rachel couldn't help but be touched that he thought of her in that way.

"Ugh!" she muttered, turning over onto her stomach. She couldn't get her mind away from thoughts of Puck, even when she tried. It was going on a week and a half since she had a conversation with him that didn't consist of one of them running away in the opposite direction as fast as possible. She missed talking to him. She missed him. But she just couldn't talk to him. Yesterday morning was the perfect example of that. She was still kicking herself at her failed attempt at reestablishing normalcy in their friendship.

"And a wonderful job you did there, Rachel. Because where is he? Oh, he's downstairs probably laughing and talking and eating like a normal person while you're hiding in your room, starving to death and counting ceiling tiles! Oh yeah, and talking to yourself!"

Rachel sighed. The whole situation was now reversed. Instead of Puck avoiding her, she was now avoiding Puck. Although, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that he very well could be avoiding her too. She just wouldn't know as she wasn't exactly around to notice. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm such a freak show."

"I've been telling you that for years, midget," she sat up somewhat and glared at Santana who was lingering in the doorway. "But you never listen, B. You always want to do things the hard way."

"Lesson learned," she flopped back on the bed. "What do you want?"

"Besides bling?" Santana retorted with a smirk. "I want my best friend to be happy and healthy. So that means stop starving yourself."

"I'm not starving myself," Rachel lied. Her stomach grumbled at that moment in the ultimate act of betrayal. "I suppose I might be a little hungry."

"You missed lunch and dinner yesterday. Not to mention breakfast, lunch and pretty much dinner tonight too."

"You keep a journal on me or something?"

"I'm practicing for my future as a TMZ contributor. See the famous Rachel Berry lounging in her fuzzy PJs. See the famous Rachel Berry who clearly hasn't brushed her hair in three days. See the famous Rachel Berry starving herself for no good reason," Santana shot back as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her.

Rachel scooted over on the bed, making room for her best friend and was happily rewarded when Santana revealed a sandwich that had been hidden behind her back and pulled a pack of vegan cookies from the pocket of her hoodie. Rachel narrowed her eyes even as she devoured the cookies. "That's not your hoodie."

"No shit, Captain Obvious. It's about three sizes too big and says 'McKinley Football Dept.'" Santana confirmed. "It's Sam's. I stole it this morning."

Rachel paused mid-chew. "This morning? You spent the night in Sam's room?"

"Chill, midget. We just watched a movie and I fell asleep. And stop trying to change the subject. The sandwich was Q's idea. She's worried about you. Hell, we all are. I heard Blaine on the phone with Kurt this afternoon talking about how you're skipping meals and he can hear you counting ceiling tiles. Ceiling tiles!"

"Yes, I get it. I don't want you all worrying about me."

Santana arched an eyebrow and gave her a look that clearly told her what the Latina thought about that idea. Rachel had to smile at that. Even if it was a pain sometimes, it was nice knowing you had people out there that cared about you. It was even nicer knowing you had at least seven that cared about you. Although she wasn't sure she could include Puck in there any more.

"Rach, what's going on? Something major must have happened to turn you into crazy recluse woman."

Rachel mustered a weak grin before looking down at her sandwich. "I talked to Noah yesterday… before you and Sam came back."

"Oh, how did it go?"

"How did you think? I'm hiding in my room dependent on you to bring me food because I'm too terrified to leave this room and face Noah after everything I said and did."

"What the hell did you say?"

"I told him that it was an accident and that it would never happen again," Rachel said in a rushed whisper. Santana visibly choked on the can of soda that Rachel wasn't sure she wanted to know where the other woman had gotten it from. She leaned up and thumped her best friend on the back. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Santana grunted. "That's not part of the plan."

"What?"

Santana looked up shocked before feigning a look of confusion and innocence. Rachel had seen that look right before the great seal liberation of 2015. She had experience with the bullshit that usually followed that look. So she definitely did not believe when Santana 'clarified' her meaning with a halfhearted, "I said, 'oh, that sucks. I totally understand." Just as Rachel was about to protest, Santana wisely changed the subject. "So that's why you're holed up in here?"

"Yes, pretty much. Did you know that I have 200 ceiling tiles and that they're approximately 2 inches apart on all sides?"

Santana blinked. "You need to get out of here."

"In case you've gotten brain damage in the sixteen hours since I've last seen you, allow me to clarify something for you. Out there is where Puck is. In here is where Rachel hides away from Puck who makes Rachel go crazy."

"And talk in the third person," Santana smirked. "But there is only so long that Rachel can live off the sandwiches that Santana has to bribe Sam into making for her."

Rachel took an experimental bite of the sandwich and nodded. "I thought this looked too good to say that you made it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You burned water," Rachel replied, patiently. "I don't think I've ever seen Quinn laugh that hard. Even the firefighters laughed. Your culinary skills aren't just lacking, they're not existent."

"It's not my fault that I'm not a natural cook… and hey! Stop trying to change the subject."

"Consider it unchanged."

"We're going out tonight, you and me. I think Sam might meet us there later or something."

Rachel slumped. "I don't know, San. I'm not really in the mood to go out."

"That's exactly why you need to go out. When you can tell me the number of tiles in your ceiling, you've been hiding away too long. Next thing you know you'll be telling me the number of threads on the rug."

"2391."

"Okay, we really need to get you out of here."

"I don't know," she continued to look indecisive. "Are you driving?"

Santana pulled a can from the pocket of Sam's hoodie and held it out for her. "Drink and be merry because tonight is all about fun. I'll be your designated driver on tonight's adventure."

Rachel opened the can and took a long sip. Although she normally frowned upon drinking away one's problems, she had to admit that nothing else was working. And besides that she trusted Santana. The girl had been there through most of her drunken adventures. She trusted that Santana had her back.

"Thanks, San."

"What did I tell you yesterday? No thanks necessary. Just finish your sandwich, take a shower because you reek, and get cute. Just don't take all fucking night in the shower, okay?"

"Can I take half the night?"

"You're so the girl in this relationship."

"And yet you're still my bitch."

Santana narrowed her eyes. "How do you figure?"

"You're taking me out tonight, making me sandwiches and getting me drinks," Rachel ticked off each point with a smile. "That makes you my bitch."

Santana frowned as she processed what Rachel was saying. The shorter brunette saw the exact moment when it all sunk in for her. With a scoff, Santana was flouncing out the door no doubt to go make one of their temporary roommates' lives a living hell in order to reestablish her HBIC title.  
________________________________________________________  
Contrary to Rachel's belief, Santana was not on a mission to make one of their temporary roommates' lives a living a hell. She was already on a mission to get her best friends together. If she happened to make someone's life a living hell along the way well then that was just an added bonus as far as she was concerned. She headed downstairs to the den where Blaine, Sam, Puck and Quinn were watching a movie. Or at the very least pretending to watch a movie. Puck was moping on a chair by the window. Sam was torn between shooting him looks of concern and watching Quinn warily. The blonde former cheerleader was openly staring at him for who knew what reason. And Blaine was probably the only one attempting to watch the movie, though he was frequently sending out text messages to presumably Kurt detailing the insanity that was unfolding around him.

When Santana walked in the room, Sam looked up and met her gaze. She could read the question there and rolled her eyes that he doubted she could pull it off. She arched an eyebrow indicating it was time to move on with the next part of their epic plan. Sam grinned and shook his head. Words were so overrated when you could just communicate with simple head gestures. She started to sit down when she noticed that Quinn was now looking at her with that same unreadable look. She glanced down at her outfit and besides Sam's hoodie she couldn't find anything out of place. So she stared back at her former rival turned BFF. After a few seconds, Quinn looked away. That girl was getting weirder everyday.

"Hey, how's Rachel?" Blaine asked as Santana sat down beside him, swinging her legs onto his lap. She noticed that Blaine and Quinn were painfully oblivious to the way that Puck's head snapped up at the mention of Rachel's name. He was visibly more interested in what was going on in the room around him.

"She's got a headache and she's being a big drama queen about it," Santana replied, lazily. "I swear the only person more dramatic about a headache would be Puck."

"I am not," he protested feebly.

"Oh give it up," Quinn giggled. "You do remember the time you had a migraine and had everyone in the dorms convinced you were dying of some incurable disease?"

"There were so many flowers, I was sneezing for weeks," Blaine complained. "Worst idea ever being your roommate that year."

"And yet you keep living with me," Puck grinned. "And I will have you know, my dearest baby mama, that I am not a drama queen." He paused. "I'm a drama king."

Quinn smiled and bowed her head in his direction. "I stand corrected, your highness."

"So does that make you and Rach, the King and Queen of Drama?" Santana asked innocently. The response she received was exactly what she expected.

Puck flushed a vibrant shade of red before muttering about something he needed from the kitchen where he all but ran two seconds later. The Latina smirked and looked over to Sam. After another nod and wink, the blonde was following after Puck. Phase Two of Operation: Endgame was officially in effect. She sat back in her seat content that everything was going according to plan. It was foolproof. Nothing could go wrong and so she was happy.

Or at least she would be as soon as Quinn and Blaine stopped giving her those looks. What the hell was their problem anyway?  
________________________________________________________  
Sam Evans was a careful man. Many mistakenly interpreted this type of caution as paranoia. He didn't like to consider that term. He just thought of it as being really attentive. Besides he felt he was more than justified at being overly cautious. He had a feeling that his friends were slightly off when he first joined New Directions in the 11th grade. But it wasn't until college that he really understood that the seven people he had chosen to migrate to New York with following graduation were pretty much all functionally insane. He had to constantly be on his toes between Rachel's 3 AM disaster plan drills, Britt and Santana's zoo and aquarium liberation plots, Puck's just general chaos and Kurt, Blaine and Quinn's schemes. He had gotten used to living in a constant state of hyperawareness which was definitely an asset with this crew.

He wasn't as oblivious as Santana. He knew that Quinn and Blaine were up to something... He had noticed the look that Quinn was giving Santana when she first walked in the room. Sam then also noticed that Quinn had then flashed a very knowing look to Blaine, who nodded in understanding. They were up to something and that something had to do with him and Santana. He had mulled it over the whole time he was in the living room and couldn't come up with anything that those two could possibly have over their heads. It wasn't a good idea letting them team up on anything. Even without Kurt, there was still enough crazy between the two of them to make their lives miserable.

But sadly, he didn't have enough time for all that. He was more concerned with keeping Phase Two of this ridiculous plan from blowing up in their faces, which he was sure it would. He was almost completely certain that by the end of this evening, he was really going to wish that he had never let Finn talk him into auditioning for stupid glee club. As he reached his destination, he thought about his audition, more specifically meeting Puck. At first he thought the guy was cocky bordering on being a jerk. But he had fully embraced helping Sam through the song. Even when he came back from Juvie and found out that Sam and Quinn were dating, Puck was a good friend. So yeah, even though he questioned the sanity of the New York gleeks, he knew he wouldn't trade a moment with any of them.

He spotted his target on veranda leading out from the kitchen. Puck was seated on the stairs, with his head leaned back watching the setting sun. Sam sank down beside him and bumped his shoulder into Puck's. "How you holding up?"

"Well let's see," Puck said sarcasm heavy in his voice. "The girl I pretty much followed out of Lima and would follow anywhere she freaking asked me too barged in my room yesterday to tell me what is probably the most confusing event in my fucking life was a mistake that will never happen again. Then she tells me she doesn't want to lose my friendship. And now she's avoiding me and making up bullshit excuses about having headaches."

"How do you know she's avoiding you when you're avoiding her?"

Puck glared at him over his shoulder. "That is so not the point of this conversation. Everything is just shit right now."

"Shit," Sam murmured thoughtfully. "I'm guessing that's a lot of steps below good, huh?" Puck nodded his head and continued to stare at the sun. "So no one ever told you that you're not supposed to stare at the sun? And if you give me some flowery emo crap about wanting to go blind because you can't have Rachel, I'm going to have to hurt you."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're crap with cheering people up?"

Sam smirked. "That's usually why I let Rachel or Quinn handle that the comforting thing. They actually care."

"Yeah, they're weird. Remember the other day when I said that I needed some time to work through this stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been giving it some more thought and I think that I might go home for awhile."

Sam frowned thoughtfully. "Home to New York?"

"No, home like in Lima home."

Sam froze looking over at his best friend. "You want to go back to Lima? But you said you were never going back there unless you were forced to."

"Consider me forced," Puck shrugged. "Dude, I'm fucking tired. Between everything with Shelly and now Rachel, I'm just tired. I thought I could get over her while I was here. But I can't. Everything here reminds me of her. I keep wanting to knock on her door and show her something or run a song lyric by her or just fucking talk to her and I can't! Maybe if I just take the semester off and get away from it, from her, I can be okay with being in love with her like this."

They sat in silence for a few minutes leaving Sam a little time to observe his friend. Now, the plus side of being highly paranoid was that it allowed you to be observant of the changes in the company you kept. And right now he could tell there were many changes in Puck, and none of them were good. It seemed like the life had been sucked right out of him and it was all because of Rachel, who was suffering pretty much the same way for the same reason.

"Have you tried? Talking to her, I mean?" the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Puck craned his neck to look at the blonde. "What I mean is, how sure are you she doesn't feel the same way?"

"Because she told me it was a mistake, Sam. Weren't you listening?"

"I was, but," Sam paused. "I know Rachel. You know Rachel. Do you think that maybe she feels the same way and for some reason, might be under the belief that you don't? Maybe she's in the exact same situation as you."

Puck snorted. "Yeah, right. What are the odds of that one?"

"Better than you think," Sam mumbled under his breath. He caught the look on Puck's face. "Never mind. That was just me thinking out loud." He stretched and pretended to think. "You know what you need?"

"Rachel?"

"Besides that. You need to get out of here. Being in this house is driving you insane. Being near her is driving you insane."

"So what are you suggesting?"

"That you go out with me to like a bar, or a club or something."

Puck shrugged. "Sure, why not? It can't be any worse than sitting around this house all night. You got a place in mind?"

"Yeah. You drive, I navigate?"

"Works for me. I'm going to go get ready. We leave in like an hour or so?"

Sam looked at the clock and tried to remember the plan. "Two hours?"

"Okay," Puck gave him a confused look as he headed back into the house, mumbling something about blondes getting dumber everyday. He stopped short though as Santana suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Oh, hey San. How long you been there?"

Santana smirked and put her arms around Puck's waist. His arms naturally folded around her. "Long enough," she murmured. "So you and Sammy are going out tonight, huh?"

"Yeah?"

"Finally ready to make my ménage a trios dream a reality?"

"You're a twisted little puppy, Satan. Just so you know."

"Only for you, Puckerman," she grinned as he rolled his eyes. "Make sure to call me if you two feel like a repeat of freshmen year."

Puck stopped in his tracks while Sam glared daggers at the woman between them. "Why is that when girls get drunk and make out, it's one of those funny stories that everyone looks back on and enjoys. But two dudes get drunk and make out, and it's one of those stories that get retold in front of potential girlfriends?"

"Is it my fault you two decided to have a bi-curious moment in front of Quinn?" Santana shrugged. "Besides it is one of those funny stories that we all look back and enjoy. I don't know why you two can't get with the program."

"Why do I even bother?"

Santana continued to smile even as she watched their mutual best friend walk away. As soon as he was gone, the smile was gone and the scary Santana that he had feared from high school was back.

"What?"

"Was there a point to that little mutiny or are you just being difficult, Sammy?"

Sam's jaw dropped. "I just… I don't know. It just slipped out! I didn't mean… wait a minute, you followed me out here? You didn't trust me!"

"And it's obvious why I didn't trust you. Because you can't be trusted!"

"Look, I didn't tell him, did I? Everything is still going according to plan."

"It better be," Santana warned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Now have you noticed anything odd about Q and Blaine lately?"

"You mean besides the fact that they're up to something?" Sam paused. "You don't think that they… you know?"

"I know?"

"Yeah, that they know about our plan."

Santana frowned. "Even if they saw the DVD, there is no way they're going to be able to figure out a plan this awesome. Whatever they're up to, I wouldn't worry about it. It's probably nothing. And if it something then we'll worry about it tomorrow. Tonight we have to focus on Rachel and Puck."

Sam sighed. He just couldn't let it go internally. He knew that Blaine and Quinn were up to something. He could practically feel the pair plotting his imminent embarrassment. But he let it go because he had to first get through the disaster that tonight would inevitably be and then he could worry about what those two were going to do to him.

"Sam," Santana started hesitantly. He looked up to meet her eyes. "You think he meant it? About leaving?"

"Yeah, I think he does."

Santana sighed. "If it doesn't work tonight, we have to tell him everything. It's not worth losing him."

"What's not worth it?"

Her eyes widened a bit before she shrugged. "Nothing to worry about. Just get there with Puck tonight. Me and Rachel will already be there. Everything is good. By this time tomorrow, they'll be happy together."

He sighed again. There were so many ways this could go wrong. He just wasn't prepared for how bad it really got.  
________________________________________________________  
Sam looked at his watch nervously as he and Puck approached the club. If everything was going according to plan then Santana and Rachel should have been here for about an hour already. He hadn't done any reading on the club that Santana had chosen, instead deciding to just roll with it. As they walked in, he was suddenly struck by the fear that maybe he should have done some research as everything thus far in Santana's plan had been ridiculous and over the top. Everything, except for the actual club. Sam paused taking in the rather nice surroundings.

"Good choice, Sam. Place looks kinda cool."

The blonde nodded absently. He was scanning the crowd looking for Santana or Rachel. He caught sight of a few girls giving both him and Puck appreciative glances but he barely paid them attention. He was waiting for a sign of two girls in particular and then finally the crowd parted enough to give them full view of the bar where the two girls were sitting. Or rather where Santana was sitting in exasperation. Rachel was on the bar. Dancing.

"Is that….?"

"Yeah."

"Is she…?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Sam ran a hand through his hair while trying to find an answer to that question. Why indeed. "I have no idea, but I know how we can find out." He dragged a still shocked Puck behind him towards the two girls. As soon as she saw them, Santana's eyes lit up with false surprise. Sam was now convinced that Rachel and Santana were twins split at birth. They were both too good at this acting thing.

"Hey, guys! What's up? Hey, Rach. Look who's here."

She tapped Rachel on the foot, prompting her to pause in her dancing to look down at the two recently arrived men. She kneeled down so that she was eye level with them. After a few moments of silent scrutiny, she fell into Puck's arms giggling hysterically. Puck and Sam exchanged confused glances before looking to Santana.

"Um, exactly how drunk is she right now?"

"Oh, her?" Santana asked, as if they could be talking about anyone other than the drunken giggly hot mess in Puck's arms. "She's only had like two or four beers. And a few margaritas. And possibly three or six shots of whatever the bartender has been offering her all night."

"What?" Puck sat Rachel on one of the barstools and cupped her face in his hands. "Rachel? You okay?"

"Noah!" she beamed up at him, pulling a similar smile from Puck. "Did you see me dancing?"

"Yeah, Rach. It was pretty hard to miss," Puck admitted with a smile. "How about you don't do that anymore, okay?"

"Okay," she replied, solemnly. "Anything for you, Noah." She crooked her finger towards him for him to move closer. He leaned further down. "I like Noah. He smells pretty."

Puck raised his eyebrows but smiled indulgently. "Yes, well Noah likes you too, Rachel. But I need you to give me what's left of that drink. Because you're more than just a lot drunk right now."

Rachel pouted and moved the glass further out of his reach. "I like my drink. You can have one if you want. Ernie is being really nice and giving them to me for free and stuff."

"Who the fuck is Ernie?"

The ridiculous bright smile grew wider as Rachel turned over her shoulder to point. "My new friend!" Puck glanced up in the direction she was pointing in to see the bartender. A rather good looking, young bartender that was not making any effort to hide the fact that he clearly thought Rachel was hot. And Rachel on a good day was completely oblivious to when people around her were hitting on her, much less when there was probably more alcohol in her body than blood at the moment. Puck narrowed his eyes and gave Ernie a warning glare that said, 'back off or I'll rip your throat out.' He then sighed as Rachel continued to down her drink and giggle. He hated when she got drunk as she was a very emotionally charged drunk and you never knew how she was going to be any given moment. At the moment, she was happy, but who knew what the hour could bring.

He tried one more time to relieve the love of his life of her glass and failed again. Finally he settled for finding someone to blame for all of this. Well first there was Sam for bringing him here in the first place. Then there was Santana for letting Rachel get this drunk in the first place. He turned around ready to rip them both a new one when he realized that they were gone. He was about to follow after them when he realized that he would be leaving a drunk Rachel alone with Ernie and any other matter of predator who would love to take advantage of her. So no, he couldn't do that. He stood behind her, effectively blocking her from view and sighed again. As soon as the other two came back they were getting the hell out of there. And once he got Rachel settled down for the night, he was going to kick some ass.  
________________________________________________________  
"Oh, my god! Puck is going to fucking kill us!" Sam hissed as Santana pushed him into a darkened corner.

"It's working isn't it?" she murmured, moving closer to him. He remembered they were supposed to be putting on an act. This was part of the plan. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against his body as he reclined against the wall. Santana tapped him on the nose and smirked. "Look, they're talking, aren't they? So something must be going right."

"Yes, but Rachel just said that Puck smells pretty! She's drunk off her ass! And on that note, how could you let her get that drunk?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Have you ever tried to get in the way of Rachel Berry when she truly wants something? She looked like she was going to rip my arms and beat me with them if I didn't let her at that bar. Ernie took one look at the big doe eyes and that was that."

"The plan is off, San," Sam said, even while keeping his arms around her waist. Her hands were resting on his shoulders. He rested his forehead against hers. They were so close, he could feel her breath on his skin. He unconsciously tightened his grip, breathing in the familiar cinnamon sweet scent that was Santana. "We should stop this before it gets too out of control."

Santana let out a deep breath. Her eyes fluttered shut as she leaned even further into his embrace. "It already is," she whispered so softly, he wondered if he was meant to hear it. He opened his mouth to say something when she opened her eyes and pinned him with a look. "I get what you're worried about, Sam. I really do. But the plan is still on track. Puck is in full protective mode and he won't let anything hurt her. He'll get her home, take care of her and they'll be well on their way to happiness by tomorrow. So you ready to end this or what?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess we did start this. Might as well finish it." He leaned down with a grin. "Ready for the best time you'll never have?"

She rolled her eyes but laughed. "Oh, yeah, rock my world, Trouty Mouth."  
________________________________________________________  
Puck was not having a good night at all. First, Sam felt this sudden inclination to go clubbing when the last time he had suggested that was three years ago. Then Sam and Santana both bailed on him leaving him with a drunken Rachel, who was for some reason trying to destroy her liver in one night. Finally, his two turncoat best friends came back sucking face and groping one another. While he was happy that they finally decided to give in and admit that they had the hots for each other, he would have rather they picked a more convenient time to decide to mate like bunnies. Never one to deny his friends' happiness, even when it equated to headache inducing misery for him, Puck didn't bother to try to stop them from heading out. He was just grateful that his room was down the hall from both of theirs. He knew how vocal they could both be. He didn't want to imagine them together. He glanced down at Rachel who was staring at the wood grain on the bar with a fascination only the drunk could pull off. He really wasn't sure how this night could get any weirder.

One of these days he would learn that the minute you thought something like that, shit got weirder. He frowned as he caught sight of a very familiar head of golden hair moving through the crowd followed closely by a mass of ungelled curly hair. He really was going to have words with Blaine about the joys of using hair product again. Right after he figured out what the hell he and Quinn were doing here.

"Rachel, I need you to stay right here, okay? Don't move. Do you understand?" Rachel nodded her head as she continued to stare at the bar. Puck sighed heavily and made his way over to his two friends. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We heard everyone was meeting up here tonight," Quinn sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest and trying her best to look wounded. "It was really nice of you guys to invite us."

"Right, because spending my night with a bunch of trust fund babies and babysitting a drunk Coyote Ugly reject sounded like so much I had to recommend it."

"What drunk?"

He thumbed a finger towards the bar. Blaine's brow furrowed. "Who are you talking about? You might want to be a bit more specific. Also where are the unholy twins and Sam?"

"Sam and Santana bailed and left me here with Coyote Rachel. So of course, Rachel is at the bar!" Puck snapped, turning around to point out the diva and found that she had disappeared. He somehow caught Ernie's gaze who pointed towards the dance floor. "Huh, I guess Ernie doesn't suck after all." He took off leaving a very confused Quinn and Blaine behind.

"What the hell was that about?"

"Not a clue," Quinn muttered. "Who is Ernie? And why did we think he sucked?"

"Because his name is Ernie?" Blaine shrugged. "Who even knows with Puck? Anyway, that's not what we came for. We're supposed to be finding our happily cheating duo and forcing their tawdry indiscretions out for all to see." He paused. "When I put it like that, it sounds…."

"Like a lot of fun?"

"Pretty much," Blaine smirked.

The conversation fell into a lull once more as Puck returned dragging a petulant Rachel behind him. Her bottom lip was poked out and Quinn couldn't help but smile at her friend. The smile melted into a look of mock sympathy as Rachel met her gaze. "What happened, B?"

"Puck yelled at my new friends!" Rachel whined, even going so far as to stomp her foot. "And he took away my new drink."

"It's okay," Puck retorted sarcastically. "You have about eight more in you where that one came from. And I yelled at your new 'friends' because I don't think it was appropriate for you new 'friends' to be putting their hands all over you. And it was stupid for you to take a drink from some dude you don't even know!'

"He was a nice guy! He was just being friendly."

"Right. Friendly. Sometimes it worries me how completely oblivious to the world you are. You never see what's in front of you, Berry."

Rachel snorted, suddenly more sober than she had been all night. "Oh, and you do, Puck?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"If you don't know then this conversation is a waste of time in more ways than one." She ran a hand through her loose hair. "Why are you even still here? You haven't spent this much time around me in almost two weeks. Isn't it time for you to run off?"

Puck flinched but ground his teeth together. "Berry, I'm just really going to ignore a lot of the shit you're saying because you're drunk. I'm here because I want to be and I'm always going to be here for you. If you don't get that then maybe this conversation really is a waste of time in more ways than one."

He stormed away from his three friends and out of the club completely. As soon as he was gone, Rachel deflated. Quinn put an arm around her best friend.

"What just happened?"

Rachel sighed shakily. "Remember how I had this habit of bottling things up and then letting them explode?"

"Yes, it led to some very interesting moments."

"This was an interesting moment," she wobbled a little before looking to the exit. "I should probably go after him."

"Where are Sam and Santana?"

Rachel paused in thought. "I have this vague memory of them being all over each other and something Noah said about them going at it like bunnies."

Blaine and Quinn exchanged excited glances. "We have to go!" Quinn exclaimed. "You're going to be okay, right?"

"Yeah," Rachel rolled her eyes at the pair's antics. "I'm going to go talk to Noah like I should have days ago."

"Great," Blaine said, dismissively. "Let's go, Q. We've got potentially dirty stuff to interrupt." Quinn paused to wave over her shoulder as Blaine dragged her towards the exit. Rachel followed after them, pausing only to retrieve her bag from Ernie who had been watching it for her while she was dancing. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and wished her luck. She got the feeling she was definitely going to need it.  
________________________________________________________  
He hadn't gone far. Puck was standing in an alley right around the corner from the club. The tension was visible in his posture from where she stood. She approached him quietly though the clicking of her heels gave her away. He shifted his head so that he was looking right at her.

"Ready for Round Two already?"

"Actually I'm calling a verbal truce," Rachel held her hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry about what I said back there. That was uncalled for."

"Yeah, it fucking was," Puck muttered.

"You shouldn't have yelled at them though. They were just being nice. They both had girlfriends. Why would they want me?"

Puck really wondered if she looked in a mirror but decided against saying it for fear of her backing out of the conversation completely.

"Didn't look like either one of them was all that interested in their girlfriends. Looked like they wanted what you had to offer."

Rachel let out an exasperated sigh. "Nothing happened! We were dancing. It was fun. The end! I figured if Santana had to drag me to some stupid bar, I might as well make the best of it."

He clenched his fists as he struggled not to respond to that. He instead decided to focus on a more pressing topic. "So what was with the binge drinking tonight? You only resort to that when you're really upset." He risked taking a look at Rachel and found her staring at a spot on the wall over his shoulder. "Rach, you can talk to me."

"Can I, Noah?" she asked in a small voice. "You haven't been in a room with me for more than twenty seconds if you could help it in a week. I don't know what I did to deserve that. So forgive me if I'm a little skeptical about talking to you."

Puck winced but was still visibly relieved to hear his name leaving her mouth. It meant that things weren't irrevocably broken between them. "I'm here now, Rach. I'm not going anywhere."

"There's nothing to talk about. I thought there might have been. But tonight has just shown me that there is nothing to talk about at all."

He started to say something more when she shuddered. Her hands covered her mouth and even in the dim lighting provided by the alley he could see her skin taking on a greenish tinge. He didn't need to say anything as he gently helped to stand by the dumpster and held her hair back as she emptied the limited contents of her stomach. When she was done, Puck offered her a napkin that he had fished out of his pocket. She accepted wordlessly before bursting into tears.

Puck didn't bother to think about how they were in exactly the same situation that led to this break in their relationship. All he knew was that Rachel was hurting and while he was hurting too, her pain would always be more important than his. He could hurt but he couldn't stand to see her hurting. He wrapped his arms around and felt her relaxing in his embrace.

"No matter what, Rach. We'll always be friends. I'll always be there for you."

Rachel pulled back somewhat to look him in the eye. He fought the urge to kiss her then and there just to see if it was as wonderful as he knew it would be. What he didn't know was that Rachel was thinking the same thing. Instead, she gave him a watery smile. "Of course, Noah. We're friends."

They stood like this for a few more minutes before Rachel finally felt calm enough to move away. It was a perfect moment in their badly damaged friendship. So of course something had to come along to ruin that. And that something was in the form of the wooden baseball bat that cracked across his forehead. Of course just when you thought the night couldn't get weirder someone comes along with a baseball bat. He heard Rachel screaming and then everything went black.  
________________________________________________________  
"So."

"So."

"You think everything is okay?"

Santana blinked from where she lay on Sam's bed. Following their entirely faked make out session, the pair had gone to McDonalds' because plotting leads to hunger and were now back on his bed watching more bad movies. She shrugged.

"I guess so. I hope so."

Sam shifted on the bed so that he could see Santana better. "Where do you think we went wrong? I mean back in high school when we were dating. Where do you think we screwed up?"

Santana rolled over so that she was on her stomach. "I think because it wasn't about us. I was trying to pretend that it didn't hurt me as bad as it did to see Britt with Artie. And you were trying to make Quinn jealous."

"A lot of good that did," Sam grinned ruefully. "I swear I don't think she even blinked an eye when we started dating. It was like it didn't even register to her."

"Does that still bother you?"

"I guess not as much anymore. I mean part of me will always love Quinn and regret how our relationship ended but I don't know… I guess… I just don't know."

Santana murmured something and rested her head on her crossed arms. "If you could go back to high school and change anything about what happened then, what would it be?"

"I'd change us. I don't think I'd let us jump into a relationship like we did," Sam replied honestly. "What about you?"

She shrugged again. "I'd change a lot of things. I would have been a lot less free if you know what I mean. You kind of build a reputation like that, you know?" Sam chuckled. "I think I also would have been a lot more open to other opportunities. I was so fixated on Britt then that I didn't see everything until it was too late. And now…"

"And now?"

"And now I'm with Brittany but I don't know if it's everything I thought it would be. I haven't seen her or talked to her in like a week now. And I'm okay. That shouldn't be. I should be missing her but I'm not. Isn't that wrong?"

"It is a little weird. But maybe it's just because you've both been so busy lately. I'm sure once things are settled down in the fall and you're both back at home, everything will go back to normal."

Even while he was trying to justify the lack of communication between Santana and Brittany, Sam was mentally reeling. He couldn't imagine going a week without talking to Santana. She and Puck were so integrated into his life that going more than a few hours without some kind of contact seemed like a form of torture.

He laid back and shifted so that she was resting on his chest once again. "Maybe after we finish getting Puck and Rachel together, we can work on fixing you and Brittany."

Santana gave him a weak smile. "You're such a girl, Trouty Mouth. I love it." This was Santana speak for I love you but you can't get me to say the actual words. And he didn't need her to. He understood her.

"So what do you think happened after we left?"

"The plan worked and they're having hot monkey sex?"

Sam pursed his lips. "I don't know. If they you know did it," Santana giggled. "Don't you think we would have heard something by now?"

"Maybe they were really quiet?"

"When has Puck or Rachel ever been quiet about anything?"

"Good point." Santana sat up and cocked her head to the side. "You know, I don't really remember them actually coming home. Maybe they found a motel or something."

"Kind of kinky," Sam wrinkled his nose.

There was a knock on the door that found them exchanging wary glances. Santana curled up at the foot of the bed while simultaneously pushing Sam towards the door. Apparently the plan was for a good cause but Santana was not willing to go down with this ship. He grumbled and shuffled towards the locked bedroom door. He opened the door expecting to see a pissed off Puck or Rachel but instead found a very smug Blaine and Quinn. They stared at him expectantly for a few minutes without saying a word.

"What? Am I supposed to just know what you two are up to? Because I know you're up to something."

"How was your night?"

"Good," he answered cautiously.

"What did you do? Where did you go?" Blaine continued his barrage of questions.

"Hogwarts, it's three in the morning," Santana yelled. Quinn and Blaine shared knowing looks that did not go unnoticed by Sam. "What the hell do you two want? Just cut to the chase?"

"We know where you were last night and why," Quinn said, calmly. Santana practically fell off the bed in her haste to get up and join the trio at the door. She stared her friend in the eye. "We know."

"You know what?"

"About, well you know…. We know."

"You know?'

"Yeah, we know."

"But how could you know what you know? We worked really hard on hiding it."

"Not as good as you thought apparently."

"I don't really think you know what you claim you know. You know nothing until I see proof. You know that, Q."

Quinn narrowed her eyes. "You really want to play this game with me, Lopez? You want me to get proof about what I know?"

Santana cocked her head to the side. "Until you show me proof of what you think you know then I'm not convinced you know anything at all, you know?"

"Oh, I know. And I'll come back with proof and show that I totally knew all along!"

"Great. And I'll be here waiting," Santana smirked. Quinn glared one final time before turning on her heel and storming away. Blaine followed in her wake with a lingering sense of confusion obvious on his face. It was one that was mimicked by Sam.

"Uh, San. What the hell was that all about?"

"I have no idea."


	4. Phase 4: #$%! It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which concussions heal friendships, teddy bears are threatened and plot twists are revealed.

Phase 4: #$%! It!

Puck cracked his eyes open a bit and then promptly shut them tight once more as a harsh light bore down on him. He moaned and turned his head to the side in order to avoid that unpleasant experience again. As he struggled to find the energy to try opening his eyes again, he started to notice that something just wasn't right. First off, the light in his room wasn't that damn annoyingly bright. Second, there was this strange stinging sensation in his elbow that was way too familiar for him to be comfortable with. And then there was the warm weight covering his left hand. Add that with the fact that his head really fucking hurt and he couldn't remember how he got…wherever he was and Puck was pretty much figuring that he was starring in the 'The Hangover 4.'

"So you finally decided to wake up, huh?"

"Rach?" he croaked out, surprised at the hoarseness of his voice. His brow furrowed and he opened his eyes to look at her.

She looked tired and pale. The bags that had been so apparent two days ago were practically black circles underneath her usually expressive eyes. The hand that was covering his own hand tightened as she gave him an encouraging smile. It was then that Puck finally looked around. They were most definitely not at home. The stinging in his arm, the bright lights….

"Hospital?"

"Yeah, the hospital," Rachel confirmed with a nod of her head. "As it turns out, getting smacked over the head with a baseball bat is not something you can just shake off. All those movies were wrong."

"Damn," Puck grinned. He shifted trying to find a more comfortable spot and winced as he moved his head. "What happened anyway? All I remember was us talking and then… nothing."

"Well," Rachel flushed obviously remembering the conversation prior to the rude and unwelcome interruption. "It appears that my new acquaintances were as fond of your interruption as I was. Though their way of demonstrating their displeasure left much to be desired."

Puck cleared his throat meaningfully. Though he was very fluent in the language of Rachel the walking dictionary, sometimes it was too much. Like when his head was pounding and there was a persistent itching on his forehead which meant stitches. Awesome.

"The guys that I was dancing with at the club followed us out into the alley and whacked you over the head with a baseball bat," Rachel translated. He nodded gratefully. "Anyway, after they hit you, they started towards me. I used some of the self defense techniques that Santana and I learned and was able to subdue them. Then I called 911 and here we are!"

Puck blinked. "And how exactly did you manage to 'subdue them' Jackie Chan?"

"Did you know that Quinn's dad has enough social and financial clout in this town that if you mention you're staying with his daughter, the authorities tend to overlook the fact that you're carrying a stun gun and may or may not have used said stun gun on their manly parts?"

"A stun gun?!" Puck exclaimed, immediately regretting it as his head throbbed. "Seriously, Rach? Those things are illegal in New York State. You know the state where we live. The state we're still currently in. Who the hell was crazy enough to give you a stun gun?"

"Santana."

"Stupid question, should have known," Puck smiled wryly. "So you're the hero of this piece, huh?"

"Looks like I am. I'm the knight in shining armor and you're the damsel in distress."

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

Rachel's smile turned more genuine as she shook her head. "Nope."

"Great," Puck grumbled good-naturedly. "So where are the others anyway? I'm shocked they're not in here raising hell and causing nurses to quit."

Rachel fidgeted in her seat and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I didn't exactly call them." Puck opened his mouth to protest but Rachel cut him off. "Don't give me that look. You said it yourself. They would have been in here raising hell and being general nuisances. There was no reason for all of them to be here. The doctors said that as soon as you woke up, I could take you home."

"And I meant that too," they both looked up to see an older man walk into the room. He smiled at his patient and company. "Nice to see you awake, Mr. Puckerman. You have a very good girlfriend here."

"I…. thanks," Puck couldn't work up the energy to deny it. He turned his head away from Rachel so that he wouldn't have to see her angry expression.

The doctor started his examination. As many concussions as Puck had during the years as a result of his fight club activities and participation in sports, this was just a routine. He saw Rachel mentally taking note of every answer and every question. He knew he was going to have to look forward to Hovering Rachel in the next few days. That might make getting over her a bit harder.

"Well everything checks out," the doctor announced. "You have a mild concussion and you'll probably have a headache for awhile. Just take it easy and no strenuous activities, you should be back to normal."

"Thank you, doctor."

Before he left the room, the doctor paused and looked at Rachel. "And you should get some sleep. I told you he would be fine. You didn't have to stay up all night watching him. Whenever you're ready you can check him out and have one of the nurses call you two a cab. After that both of you get some rest." And then he was gone, leaving a very embarrassed Rachel in his wake.

"You stayed up watching me all night?" Puck asked, breaking the silence in the room. "Why?"

"I don't know anything about the medical professionals in this region. I didn't know if they were up to par. Sure they say it was just a concussion and that you would be fine in a few hours but who knows if they're just coming off a thirty hour shift and are willing to say anything to shut me up. Then you slip into a coma and die and it would have been because I stupidly trusted the doctors. So of course I had to stay up and watch you."

Puck smiled at the typical Berry rant. He knew she probably had been worried out of her mind. He knew he would have been if the situation had been reversed. He pulled her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss there.

"Thanks, Rach."

"You're welcome, Noah," Rachel whispered. "You know that no matter what's going on between us, I could never turn my back on you. You said you'd always be there for me and I'm always going to be there for you too."

"Good."

Rachel gave his hand another squeeze before getting up to start the paperwork to get him out. He watched her go silently. Maybe things were going to be okay between them after all. True, they weren't together, but he was slowly getting her back and that was all that was important at the moment. His heart be damned, all he wanted was Rachel and if being her friend was the only way to get her, then so be it. He would be the best friend ever. Even better than the evil witch that left her drunk at a bar. Oh, he was so going to kick Sam and Santana's asses when he got back home. He sat up in the bed and groaned. Okay, he was going to kick some ass as soon as the room stopped spinning whenever he moved. Then it was so on!  
__________________________________________  
Sam sighed as the clock on the cable box flashed 12. It was officially noon and none of them had heard from Rachel or Puck. This wasn't like either of them, especially Puck. He and Puck had established rules when they first moved to NYC. If one of them is going to be out all night, they needed to send some form of communication to make sure that the other knew they were still alive. But thus far, Sam had received no such communication. Despite Santana's earlier insistence that they were most likely getting it on, he knew that something happened. He tried calling both of their phones but had gotten no response. Rachel's phone was off but Puck's rang until it reached voicemail. He glanced over at Blaine, Quinn and Santana who were alternately glaring at one another and watching some Disney movie.

He started to open his mouth when Santana held up a hand. "Nothing happened, Sam. So just drop it."

"How do you know? I mean, Blaine, Quinn, back me up here."

They both looked ready to deliver some sarcastic comment but thankfully changed their minds at the last minute. Blaine ran a hand over his face tiredly. "There's really nothing we can do until one of them answers their phone."

"But you do agree that something happened, right?"

"Stop feeding his paranoia," Santana rolled her eyes. "Nothing happened."

Sam huffed and kept staring at the clock. Fifteen minutes passed before he brought it up once again. Once more, he was quieted, this time by Quinn. Another five minutes passed and he was set to say something again when he was cut off by the front door opening. The television was off in a second, making Sam wonder if any of them were actually watching the movie to begin with. The four friends surrounded the prodigal pair with disapproving frowns that quickly morphed into looks of horror and confusion at the sight of the bandage covering most of Puck's forehead. He also had the beginnings of a nasty looking black eye forming. Rachel didn't look much better. Sam was more than familiar with Rachel and hangovers and knew she was suffering from one hell of a hangover and apparently a lack of sleep. The lack of sleep was most likely tied to Puck and his bandaged forehead.

"What the hell happened to your head?" Santana asked, quietly, keeping her voice low to help with the no doubt nasty headache Puck was suffering. He tipped his head towards her in gratitude. "Where have you two been?"

"Hospital," Puck replied, casually. He held up his wrist which still had the ID bracelet wrapped around it. "Now we know why I yelled at Rachel's new friends. It's because they're sociopaths with bats."

"They hit you with a bat?" Blaine repeated incredulously.

"Yeah, but it turns out I got the concussion from hitting the dumpster on the way down," Puck mumbled. "That's way more embarrassing. So if you'll excuse me, I'm tired. I feel like shit and I want to die."

"Well, you can die after you've eaten something," Quinn ordered, slipping into mother hen mode. "You too, Rachel. I know for a fact that you haven't been eating lately. And I'm assuming you stayed there all night."

"I did," Rachel replied, though her eyes were only on Puck. "I didn't want him to be alone in case he woke up."

"Why didn't you call us?" Blaine asked.

"I didn't think you guys would care since you all left us there to begin with," Rachel snapped, though the comment was directed more towards Sam and Santana.

"Alright, alright, enough. We can play the Blame Game later," Blaine said, pulling her with him towards the kitchen. Quinn was already steering an unusually complacent Puck with her. As soon as they were out of earshot, Sam turned on Santana.

"You see!" Sam hissed. "This was part of the plan? Puck got attacked by a yuppie with a baseball bat! There are so many ways last night could have gone wrong. We could have lost both of them last night. I really hope this plan was worth it, San!"

Almost as soon as he was done, Sam felt the anger leave him. He saw shades of red he didn't know ran in nature flit across Santana's face as she continued to stare blankly at the spot where Puck and Rachel once stood. He stepped back, scared that he had crossed some sacred line that involved Santana, Puck and Rachel. The foundation of the New York gleeks was born with the friendship between the three of them at the end of junior year. The bond between all of them was thick but it was practically impenetrable when it came to those three.

"All I want is for everyone to be happy," Santana said. Her voice was eerily calm. Sam knew for a fact that this was not a good thing. "I just want them to be fucking happy? Why won't they give in? Why do they continue to fight this at every fucking turn?"

She turned on her heels and marched up the stairs. Sam was torn between finally escaping this madness and just going in the kitchen or following after the completely over the edge former cheerleader to make sure that nothing got set on fire or destroyed. Like there was ever really a choice. He knew what he was doing when he had agreed to this ridiculous plan. He knew that he was basically agreeing to follow Santana to the end. The bloody, horrible end. So with that in mind, he kept along the path of destruction that Santana was blazing to Rachel's room.

When he got there, Santana was tearing through Rachel's personal things with careless abandon. Before Sam could even begin to wonder what she was doing, Santana let out a satisfied, if not slightly maniacal, laugh and turned around brandishing what appeared to be a wrinkled pink and blue stuffed animal. Sam's jaw dropped at the sight of the worn animal. He reached a tentative hand towards it. Santana tossed the stuffed rabbit at him with a shrug.

"Is this Mr. Wubbies? She actually kept this thing? I thought she was just being nice."

"It's Rachel," Santana rolled her eyes as if that explained the meaning of life. "You know what a softie she is. Not to mention it was during the bad times. She's been sleeping with that damn thing ever since we gave it to her. She takes it everywhere but she doesn't want anyone else to know that she kept it. I only know because she had the flu when we were moving in to the apartment and she made me dig through all the boxes to get it for her."

Sam smiled softly as he held the rabbit in his arms. The bad times that Santana was referring to were the times when Rachel was still questioning whether she really had friends or not. Her birthday was a sad affair as she hadn't mentioned it to anyone in fear of being rejected. So no one acknowledged it because no one knew, not even Finn, her boyfriend at the time. It was only because Santana was on Facebook early that morning and saw a impersonal post on Rachel's wall from a random relative that she knew it was her birthday. She mentioned it to Sam and Puck during first period. The end result was Mr. Wubbies, a pink and blue stuffed animal that was sad looking even back then and hadn't improved with age. They had expected a hurt look when presented with the pathetic excuse for a gift but instead, Rachel had melted.

Apparently she had a stuffed animal similar to that when she was younger that her late grandmother gave her that had been lost through the years. Sam thought she was just humoring them by dragging the bunny around all day and even giving him the name Mr. Wubbies. Lunch was the last time he saw Mr. Wubbies as that's when Puck (who had vanished sometime after Santana had told them it was her birthday) had set up a surprise gleek celebration in the choir room. He even had a present for Rachel with his and Santana's names on it. Sam figured that Mr. Wubbies would have been tossed aside after that but apparently he was wrong.

It was then that Sam realized that Santana had been furiously ranting and raving whilst writing something on the desk. Sam walked behind her and peer over her shoulder to see what she was writing.

"Come on, San. This is going too far. Even for you!"

Santana looked up with a terrifying glimmer in her eye. "Desperate times call for desperate measures, Trouty Mouth. And bitches are getting desperate."

Sam clutched Mr. Wubbies tighter, suddenly very afraid for his friends.  
__________________________________________  
Rachel only vaguely registered Santana announcing that she and Sam were going to retrieve Puck's truck from the club. She was too angry to really care what was going on with them. How dare Santana let her get that drunk and then just leave her with Puck? She knew how Rachel felt about Puck and she just left in all her impaired judgment and lack of impulse control. She sighed and tried not to fall asleep over her breakfast. Across the table, Puck looked like he was doing the same. It amazed her that Puck slept more than her yet it looked like he hadn't slept for weeks. She wondered idly if she looked that bad as well. She glanced up and caught her reflection on the toaster oven. Yeah, she did look that bad. Still it was worth it. He was worth it.

Almost as he knew she was thinking about him, Puck looked up and gave her a small smile, which she tentatively returned. It wasn't the same anymore, they both knew it. Something fundamental had changed in their relationship… their friendship. They were both forcing it to be the way it was, but it would never be the way it was again. And that thought alone made Rachel want to curl into a ball and cry for days. But she hadn't spent her whole life preparing for Broadway to back down from a challenge now. If the only way to have Puck in her life was to play pretend, then she was willing to do it.

"Q," Puck whined as the blonde came back over plopping another spoonful of eggs on his plate. "I've eaten as much as I can. I'm just not that hungry." Quinn gave him a skeptical look. "I feel like crap. I just want to go lie down. Okay?"

Quinn gave him and his plate one last disapproving look before sending him on his way. Rachel internally was left wondering how Quinn had that much power over all of them when they were all the same age. One look from her and they were all shutting up and under her control. She sat up straight when that look was suddenly thrown in her direction. And his question was answered. It was because Quinn was extremely scary when it came to her friends, no, her family. Her own familial relations left much to be desired and she had adopted them as her family. Her repressed maternal instincts came out full force when it came to them.

"So exactly why did you think it was okay to go to the ER and not let one of us know? I get why you're mad at Santana and Sam, but Blaine and I were still around. You could have called us. We were worried too!"

"I know, I just… I wasn't thinking, okay?" she said tiredly. "Everything was happening so fast. Those guys were there and then he went down. And I was scared that he was dead. By the time the police showed up all I could think about was Noah and making sure that he was okay. I didn't see any need to get you all involved if he was only going to check out in the morning anyway."

"But Puck wasn't the one who needed a friend last night," Blaine pointed out kindly. He smiled sympathetically which was the complete opposite to the glare being thrown her way by Quinn. Absolutely terrifying that one. "Why don't you get some sleep? You look like you're about to pass out."

"Thanks, Blaine," Rachel kissed him on the cheek before rising from her seat. She stood in front of Quinn for a few silent moments before letting her friend hug her tightly. "We're okay, Quinn. I promise."

"I was worried sick," Quinn admitted. "I didn't know where you were. I shouldn't have left you guys last night. And for something so stupid!"

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. Not even Sam and Santana. They didn't know that was going to happen. Besides we're both here and relatively unscathed. Everything is okay."

Quinn nodded tearfully and stepped away. "Just ignore me. Go get some sleep. Maybe later we can get San and have a good old fashioned girls' night."

"I'd like that," Rachel replied honestly. She gave her friend one more hug before heading upstairs to her room. Or rather what was left of her the place she called her room. It looked like a tornado had ripped through her room, throwing clothes, bed linens and pillows every which way. She tracked the pattern of destruction and found that it centered on a certain location. A certain location that up until that moment had been hiding her precious Mr. Wubbies. The same Mr. Wubbies that only Santana knew was even in the house. She was going to rip her best friend apart limb by limb.  
__________________________________________  
Puck had just finished changing to get some sleep when he heard a series of odd noises coming from Santana's room. He knew she was still out so he didn't know who else would be in her room. Curiosity pushed past his pain and he walked into Santana's room only to find… "Rachel?"

"Where is he?"

Puck raised an eyebrow. "Where is who?"

She bit her bottom lip as she visibly hesitated telling him about what she was looking for. He had to fight the urge to grin at the sight. He also had to fight the urge to run over and kiss away the pout that was rapidly forming on her face. Finally, she huffed and crossed her arms over his chest.

"Mr. Wubbies."

Puck blinked once and then again. "I'm sorry. Who?"

"Mr. Wubbies, the stuffed bunny Sam and Santana bought me in high school," was the muttered response. Puck put a hand over his face to stifle his grin. "Oh, that's right. Laugh it up. But I always sleep with him when I don't feel well. And I've got a massive hangover so I want him."

"Alright, well, where was the last place that you saw," he chuckled. "Mr. Wubbies?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "I put him back in his new hiding space because Santana keeps threatening him. But I came back and my room was ransacked and Mr. Wubbies was gone. So I know she took him but I don't know where she put him."

Suddenly her eyes landed on a piece of paper on Santana's suspiciously clutter free dresser. It was inconspicuous, held down by a framed photo of Sam, Santana, Puck and Rachel from their first day in New York. Fitting, she thought as she picked up the note. Puck stepped closer to her to read over her shoulder.

"Yes, I took him, midget. Who else knows about that stupid bunny? You want him back? You can find him in the pits of hell. Good luck with that." Rachel groaned. "I hate Santana!"

"Maybe it's the concussion talking but what exactly are the pits of hell?"

"Sam's room," Rachel replied, already out the door. "All I want to do is curl up in bed and go to sleep. But no, I have to go trekking through Sam's hellhole of a room hunting down my damn bunny because my best friend is a goddamn freak of nature! I hate her! I hate my life!"

Puck once again felt the need to take her in his arms but pushed it down and instead chose to accompany her on this little excursion from sanity. They entered Sam's room tentatively before remembering that both Sam and Santana were not around to witness the outcome of their handiwork and depending on what they were really aiming for here it might be awhile before either of them came back. Puck frowned at the complete mess that was his best friend's room.

"Must remind Sam that doing laundry is not a choice but a necessity," he wrinkled his nose and kicked a shirt out of his way. He would never understand how someone as together as Sam could exist in such a state of chaos and disorganization. He also wondered if anything was alive in there.

"Where do you think they put him?"

"They?" Puck asked, after kicking another article of clothing that looked way too feminine to be Sam's… he hoped. "You think Sam had something to do with this?"

"Well this is his room and he's not here to defend himself, so I'm thinking, yes," Rachel gave him a look. Puck simply shook his head and smiled sadly. "What?"

"You've learned well through the years, but you still have a lot to learn when it comes to Santana Lopez. Unfortunately I know Santana better than I know myself some days and I know how her diabolical mind works. She's so up to something and I just can't figure out what it is for the life of me. But it's epic."

"Maybe she's just insane."

"Nah, that shrink said she was fine." Off the incredulous look being thrown his way, Puck grinned. "Come on, babe, you mean to tell me that if you pretty much grew up with someone like Santana, you wouldn't get a little curious as to whether she was mentally stable or not?"

"You two are so weird," Rachel muttered.

Puck continued to walk deeper into the room and paused as something caught his eye. He turned to see a pink and blue stuffed rabbit hanging from the middle of the closest ceiling by its arm. Puck started in so t hat he could get it down before Rachel saw and potentially caused much grievous harm to a certain former cheerleader and quarterback. But apparently he wasn't fast enough if the almost inhuman growl was any indication. Rachel stormed into the room and tried to pull her toy down. Puck stepped into the closet to help her as her height prevented from doing much more than pulling on one of the legs.

"How the hell did they get this up there?"

"They? I thought you were sure that Santana did this alone."

"That was until they tied him to the ceiling. Santana wouldn't hang him from his arm. She'd go full on psycho and hang him by his neck."

"She'd hang my precious?!"

"Did you really just go Gollum on me?" Puck paused in his Wubbie recovery mission to give the girl an incredulous stare.

"Shove it, Puckerman, and help me get him down!"

Puck rolled his eyes but stretched up and finally found what was securing the bear in place. With a few more yanks, the string gave way and Mr. Wubbies was released from his captivity and safely ensconced in Rachel's arms. He turned away from the utterly adorable sight of Rachel cuddling her stuffed bunny to the doors of the closet which had just slammed shut. The sound was enough to tear Rachel out of her tender bunny thoughts as she ran to the door with terror obvious in her face.

"No! "

"What's wrong?" Puck asked as he joined her at the doors.

Rachel paused and turned to face him slowly. "Remember how tight spaces make you nervous"

"If I'm in them too long," he shrugged. "Speaking of which, we've been in here close to too long. Why?"

"Get ready to be nervous. There is a reason we call Sam's room the pits of hell and it isn't because it looks like several dirty hobos have taken residence in his bedroom. Remember that time you and Blaine went to the movies and we were all texting you that we couldn't find Sam? It's because he had stepped into closet and the doors closed behind him and he was locked in."

"Wait, locked in? As in locked in the closet and couldn't get out? He was trapped in here? This very, very, very, very, very," Puck's eyes widened as he looked around. "We're stuck in here?"

"Noah," Rachel said, slowly. "It's going to be alright. Just don't panic."

"I'm not fucking panicking, Rachel!" he yelled, his eyes slightly wild. "Alright, so I'm panicking!"

Rachel sighed and sank to the floor. This was all she needed on top of the hangover from hell. She pulled Puck down to the floor beside her and shoved Mr. Wubbies onto his lap. He looked down at the animal and then up at her.

"I thought you needed him?"

"You look like you need him more," she shrugged. He nodded, quietly grateful. He tried not to look around the tiny closet that he was calling home until someone thought to come looking for them. He was really going to ring Sam's neck when he was out of here. And Santana wasn't going to get off easier just because she was a girl. He'd find a way around that. He was going to massacre them both. But first he was going to have to get his breathing under control. Because apparently hyperventilating didn't leave much room for normal oxygen intake.

"Noah, please, you have to calm down," Rachel whispered. She sighed and pulled him so that he was half lying against her chest with his head resting on her shoulder. Her hand splayed over his rapidly beating heart. "Noah, you have to breath. Breathe with me."

He nearly snorted. Because being held by the one person who wreaked havoc on your hormones just by looking at you was absolutely conducive to breath. Hell being in the same room as Rachel had the effect of taking his breath away, but being in her arms, being this close to her was just torture. So why was he not moving away again? Oh yeah, because he was being held by Rachel Berry. Damn the closet, Mr. Wubbies, Santana and Sam, he was being held by Rachel and despite his unfortunate location and breathing difficulties life was good.

It was then that he noticed something buried in the deep recesses of the closet. He pulled away from Rachel only slightly, not noticing the look of disappointment on her face at the loss of contact. Puck reached towards the bag and pulled it back over for him and Rachel to look through together. They pulled out a few of the magazines and DVDs.

"Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"Why does Sam have a bunch of what are commonly referred to as chick flicks in his closet?"

"I have no idea but he is so going to regret locking me in here now," he grinned, pulling out a few of the DVDs. "Let's see 'Second Time's The Charm' is the amazing story of a girl who gets a second chance with the boy she was too blind to know was in love with her the whole time. We also have 'Torn between Lovers' which is the amazing story of a girl who has to choose between some tool and the guy that's been in love with her the whole time. You notice a theme with these movies?"

"Do you really need to look at those right now?"

"It's either that I start hyperventilating again. Pick one." He picked up another one. "Oh, this one is unwatched. It's called 'The Plan' is about a woman who is so busy playing matchmaker for everyone around her that she's painfully oblivious to the man that's been in love with her all along."

"Really, Noah?"

He looked over and saw the pout starting to form. That pout had been the undoing of many of his more outrageously stupid schemes in high school. That pout had also been the catalyst for him sending in his application to NYU even though he thought for sure that he would be rejected. She knew he would do anything for her when she did the pout and so with a sigh, he threw the DVD back in with the others and pushed the bag away.

"Fine, put that thing away. Now what?"

"We could talk. We haven't done that in awhile."

Puck nodded his head slowly. "Okay, then. I have a question for you."

"Alright. Go ahead."

"What's going on with you lately? You never drink that much because you know you're kind of a midget. You really don't have much of a liquor tolerance. And you haven't been eating much lately. I heard Quinn and Blaine talking about. So what's going on with you?"

She sighed and closed her eyes, resting it against the wall behind them. "If I told you nothing, would you believe me?"

"Honestly?" she nodded. "No, I wouldn't because I see that something is wrong with you. I want to help you. But I just don't know how. "

Rachel opened her eyes and met Puck's gaze. "Noah," she started. She could see the concern and worry in his eyes. "Things have just been a little stressful lately and I don't really know what's going on with me, honestly."

"It's because of me, isn't it?" Puck saw the look of panic that crossed her face at that and hurried to clarify. "I mean, about what you said at the club about me not being around lately. If it is because of that, I'm so sorry, Rach. I would never want to hurt you. You know that, right?"

He reached a tentative hand towards her face. Being around her this long was starting to wear down on his self control. All he wanted to do was touch her. And as his hand cupped her cheek, he found that she wasn't opposed to the idea. She even leaned into the touch and held his hands with hers.

"Then why, Noah? Is there something I did to make you avoid me?"

"Rach, it isn't you. I swear. You're perfect. I'm just all screwed up right now. I'll be okay."

"Remember what I told you this morning?"

"That you shot those guys in the balls with a stun gun?"

"After that."

"…. That you would never turn your back on me. That'd you be there for me like I'm going to be there for you."

"Let me in, Noah."

Puck swallowed. "I can't, Rach. Because if I tell you what's going on then everything changes and I lose you. I can't lose you." He let go of her and lowered his head finding the floor patterns his fingers were tracing to be infinitely more interesting than this conversation.

He felt Rachel's smaller fingers tilting his head upwards so that he was once again looking her in the eye. "Noah, I could never walk way from you. Ever. Nothing you could ever say would make me."

He opened his mouth to protest but suddenly closed it. The atmosphere in the room had changed. It almost seemed electric, like the air around them was humming. He noticed that his head was moving towards Rachel's. He also noticed that her head appeared to be drawn towards his as well. Before he could even think about what that mean, his brain was shutting down and something warm, soft and smooth was pressing against his lips. He could taste the coffee she drank that morning as they sat there, barely moving with lips touching.

It didn't take long for instinct and experience to take over and cause one of them to grow impatient with their current positioning. They shifted so Rachel was straddling his legs. He pressed soft kisses on the corners of her lips, and then down her cheeks and her neck. His hands brushed against her sides before resting on her hips and pulling her closer to him. A low moan escaped her lips before she pushed Puck's head upwards to meet her lips once again. This time their kiss was anything but chaste. It was all tongue and teeth. Rachel parted her lips giving him full access to the insides of her mouth. Their tongues danced together as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She pushed him back so that he was practically pinned against the wall of their tiny prison. He broke apart from the kiss to continue exploring her neck.

A deep part of him wondered if this was a fantasy, some of sort of dream he had created to help him deal with the loneliness and depression that had come from ignoring Rachel. But as he felt her hands slipping underneath his t-shirt, brushing against his stomach he suddenly didn't care. He didn't care if this was real or not because this was the best damn fantasy he had in awhile. And nothing was going to ruin this, nothing. Not even the doors being forced open… wait, the doors?  
__________________________________________  
"You know this is actually getting to be really boring now," Blaine sighed as he interrupted Quinn. The blonde had been muttering under her breath all morning about getting to the bottom of the Sam/Santana relationship once and for all. The more that Quinn grew obsessed with this whole thing, the more Blaine wanted to just pull away and leave the whole thing alone. He got the feeling that there was something going on here that went deeper than what they were seeing. He got the feeling that if they shared what they were thinking then Brittany wasn't going to be the only one hurt.

"I mean Puck and Sam treat Santana like their sister! Who has sex with their sister?"

"You know they're not like really siblings, right? And didn't Santana and Puck used to have sex like all the freaking time?" Blaine asked.

"But it's still just wrong!" Quinn protested. "Santana is just using Sam! Again!"

So she's jealous of Santana, Blaine thought. Interesting but not terribly surprising. What was surprising was the relationship between Sam and Santana. He wasn't surprised that they were together so much as shocked that no one had to lock them in a closet to get them understand that they were so obviously in love with each other.

The more they got into this, the guiltier Blaine started to feel. He didn't want to see any of his friends really hurt and that was how this was all going to play out. Santana and Sam would be miserable because they would be exposed, Quinn would be alone when she clearly had a thing for Sam again and Brittany would be heartbroken that everyone knew but her. And he didn't want to think about a sad Brittany. It was like kicking a puppy. When did his life become a really melodramatic soap opera? It was like a telenova without the distracting other language to make you forget that nothing you were seeing made any sense.

Seriously he was done with all this. He was just going to tell Quinn to do this on her own. Then he was going to hole up with Puck or Rachel until this whole thing blew over. With the exception of their trip to the ER and Rachel's bar dancing antics the previous night, they both seemed to be relatively well adjusted… well this month anyway. Maybe he should just do that. Wait, what was Quinn saying?

"What?"

"I said that if Santana wants us to get proof, then we'll get proof! We're storming their headquarters!"

"Headquarters?"

"Sam's room."

Blaine's eyes widened as he followed Quinn upstairs. "You really want to go in there? Are you kidding me? I know that I kind of came up with this whole thing in the first place but I think it's getting completely out of hand. Come on, Quinn, things go in Sam's room but they don't come out. It's not just the pits of hell because of the closet!"

"Listen you're either with me or you're against me. Which is it?"

Blaine blinked. He remembered the zeal (read batshit crazy) that had been fueling the girl during her quest to become prom queen in junior year. That had nothing on the level of full on crazy she was displaying at the moment. He swallowed and motioned for her to keep moving with his head. Quinn's eyes lit up as she spotted the closed closet door.

"Perfect."

Blaine shuddered at the look. He watched as Quinn tried to pry open the doors but they were as stuck as they were the first time they had gone through this madness. He stood back and watched as Quinn continued to struggle with the doors. He was contemplating pulling his phone out to take pictures when she finally managed to wrench them open. The doors crashed open and both Blaine and Quinn were very surprised to see a very red and flustered Puck and Rachel standing on opposite sides of the closet staring at them in shock.

"What re you two doing in there?" Blaine asked, stepping forward.

Rachel held up what he could only assume was supposed to be a stuffed bunny and muttered something that sounded like 'Mr. Wubbies'. Puck was just standing there. Finally, he lifted a hand to his lips. He glanced at Rachel before rushing out the room. Rachel closed her eyes in defeat and sighed.

"Rachel, whatever just happened between you and Puck in closet, fix it," Quinn ordered, already searching for some sort of clue that Santana and Sam were together and hiding it. Rachel just stood there with hurt doe eyes. She reminded Blaine of a kicked puppy too. He patted his friend on the arm sympathetically.

"Just go after him, Rach. He looked really upset."

"No kidding," Rachel laughed dryly. "But you're right. I need to talk to him. I need to tell him everything once and for all." She was out the room before Blaine could comment on that.

"What's going on with those two?" he wondered aloud to Quinn. "Why were they in the closet?"

"Who knows, who cares, look what I just found!" Quinn held up the stash of DVDs. Blaine blinked. "Come on! This is proof."

"Proof of what? That Sam is secretly a little girl at heart? We all knew that, Q."

"True," Quinn chewed on her lip thoughtfully. Her eyes darkened as she looked around the room. Blaine watched as the crazy glimmer that had been there since they started this portion of their adventure was dying out as a sad understanding replaced it. "You know how Santana has a really horrible relationship with her parents?"

Blaine nodded. That was an understatement. Of all the New York gleeks, Rachel and Kurt were the ones with the healthiest relationships with their parents. It was just another reason why they were all so close to one another. Still he couldn't understand where she was going with this one.

"Santana has this thing. It's almost like she's nesting. When she gets comfortable somewhere with someone then she starts leaving her things there. I think it's because with her parents she was always being shuffled here and there and she never had anywhere stable. So she just set up home wherever she could. She always thinks people are is going to leave her. So when she's really with someone, she leaves pieces of herself all around so that people know she's there. Even after she's gone. When I moved in with Puck, I kept finding things that belonged to her all over his room even after they broke up."

"So what's your point?"

Quinn didn't answer and really she didn't have to. Blaine looked down to see a shirt that was clearly several sizes smaller than Sam would wear on the floor. There was also the dresser that was half full with the usual products that Sam used but also had scents and lotions that were clearly Santana's. All over the room were signs of Santana. It was also she had put a part of her personality in his room and left it there for the world to see.

Quinn smiled as the awareness and understanding showed on his face. "So, does this constitute as proof?"

"I'm thinking yeah."  
__________________________________________  
"Noah, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, Rachel?"

Rachel put her hands on her hips and watched him warily. "Well, it looks like you're packing. But since we have at least a month until school starts again, that's a bit premature, isn't it?"

"I have to go. I can't be here. I can't do this anymore," Puck muttered. He went into his closet and started pulling out clothing haphazardly. "I just need to get away. I'll come back I just can't be here anymore. I can't do this."

"Do what?" Rachel asked, trying to be heard over the uncharacteristic rambling that he was doing. He didn't slow down his frantic packing motions and he showed no signs that he even heard her much less that he was going to reply. "Noah, what is it that you can't do anymore?"

"This," he yelled, gesturing wildly between them. "I can't do this thing between you and me right now."

Rachel felt tears well in her eyes. He was leaving because of her? But didn't he just say he would always be there for her?

"Noah, why can't you be around me anymore? Is this because of what happened in the closet?" Rachel rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. Of course this was about what happened in the closet. She had practically molested the poor man in there. And damn if she didn't want to do it again. Kissing Noah Puckerman was an addiction she could fully get behind. It was also an addiction she wanted all to herself.

"Noah, I'm really sorry. It's just that I couldn't help myself! You were sitting there and you were being all sweet and, and vulnerable! And then you used the eyes! No person with even minimal control over their mental and emotional faculties can resist those eyes. And it's just getting so hard to not tell you that I more than care about you. That I love you. And then we're stuck in the closet after you were….."

"Wait," Puck stopped packing and looked at her. Rachel was a little taken aback by the lost look in his eyes. "What did you just say?"

She sighed. There was no coming back from this. She had to tell him if she was going to salvage this thing with Puck. Maybe he wouldn't love her back but maybe she could learn to live with that too. "I love you, Noah Puckerman. Not just as a friend, but as so much more."

Whatever reaction Rachel was expecting from Puck, it was definitely not the one she received. Puck snorted and shook his head, resuming his packing. "Which one of them put you up to this?"

"Huh?"

"Sam or Santana? Which one of them told you to say this? They both know how I feel about you. Sam knew that I wanted to leave. So which one of them put you up to this?"

Rachel's jaw dropped. "How you feel about me?" she jumped in front of him blocking his movements towards the closet. "Noah, I'm not lying to you. No one put me up to this. I'm here telling you that I love you and I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

"Then why would you tell me that it was all an accident?" he asked quietly.

"I thought you were avoiding me because I told you that I loved you. So I told you that it was a mistake and that it would never happen again. But I didn't mean that."

"I was only avoiding you because I was scared that you didn't feel the same way about me. I thought that you meant you loved me as a friend," Puck admitted, a bit sheepishly. "Not to mention I had to avoid you because it was getting increasingly harder to be around you without wanting to jump you. I think the closet was a good indication of that." He stopped trying to move around her but she noticed that look still didn't leave his eyes. "So you really love me?"

"Yes! That's only what I've been trying to tell you for the past five minutes here."

"Why? I'm not Finn, Rach. I'm not some nice guy that's going to buy you flowers and all that other crap. I'm not Jesse. I'm not taking you to musicals or even pretend that I know about musicals at all. I'm not your type of guy. So why would you love me?"

She blinked. That's it, she was so getting Santana and driving back to the city to kick Shelly's hateful ass once and for all. Pre-Shelly Puck would have never questioned that anyone loved him. He would have proudly declared that it was because he was a stud. Pre-Shelly Puck wouldn't have tried to runaway. Post-Shelly Puck was a shadow compared to how he used to be but Rachel was confident that she'd get him back. Right after she convinced him that she was completely and totally head over heels in love with him.

"I love you because you're not Finn and you're not Jesse. You're you. I love you because you're amazing. You're so much more talented and intelligent than you ever give yourself credit for. I love you for the fact that you know who I am and you still choose to be around me despite that."

"Because of that," he corrected with a small smile. "I choose to be around you because I know who you really are." Puck cocked his head to the side. "So you really….?"

"Yes, and you really love me?"

"I do. I really wanted to tell you but I just couldn't. That's why I started to avoid you even though that just made things worse because all I wanted to do was be around you and I couldn't. And I was miserable thinking that you didn't love me ….."

Rachel rose on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his, effectively ending the unusual amount of word vomit. At first Puck remained motionless but soon relaxed into the kiss. His arms wound around her waist as hers slid around his neck. She pulled away only a little so that she could see his face. "Now do you believe me?"

"Mmm hmm," he murmured with his eyes still closed and moved in once again. Rachel met the kiss happily. Now life was perfect. She was kissing Puck and he was kissing her back. She loved him and he loved her back. Everything was as it should be. Maybe she wouldn't kill Santana and Sam for leaving her at the club. Wait…

"You said Sam and Santana both know how you feel?"

Puck shrugged. "I told Sam but I assume he told Santana. You know how they are. Why?"

"I think we've been set up," Rachel grinned. "I told Santana how I felt about you like three days ago."

"And I told Sam how I felt about you like you three days ago," recognition filled Puck's eyes. "It was all a set up. The club, the closet, all of it was just part of the plan." He sat down on the bed deep in thought. Rachel stood in front of him watching as Puck put all the pieces together mentally. That was the great thing about his and Santana's relationship. Instant enlightenment into the mind of a weirdo. "That explains all the horribly bad romantic comedies too. I knew they had a theme!"

"But some of those didn't apply to us at all."

Puck smiled up at her and for a minute she forgot about everything. But then he was talking again. "They're geniuses. I can't believe they tried to pull this off without me!"

"I'm so confused."

"You and I were a small part of this plan. Hell, my guess is if Sam hadn't blabbed about what I told him to Santana, we would still be avoiding each other today. No, Santana's plan was more focused than this. She had an ulterior motive and was just using us as a cover."

Rachel opened her mouth to reply but couldn't find the words. Finally she settled for, "huh?"

But Puck was too busy pulling out his phone to acknowledge her confusion. He dialed a number quickly before putting the phone to his ear. She could hear someone on the other line pick up but she couldn't make out the voice. She couldn't even tell if the person was male or female. "I can't believe you two tried this without me!" he paused. "Yes, I figured it out. Yes, Rachel and I are together. Does Santana know she was part of this little experiment too? Where are you?" his eyes widened. "Get your ass over here ASAP. And bring your partner in crime with you."

Rachel was beyond hopelessly confused by this point. But as Puck disconnected the phone and looked up at her, she suddenly found herself caring a lot less. "Who was that?"

"That," he whispered, pulling her towards him, "was the real mastermind behind this whole plot. Santana is good but she's not good enough to pull something this epic off. But don't worry about it for now. We have time to deal with that later. Right now, I think you and I were in the middle of something, no?"

A smile pulled at her lips as she pushed him down on the bed. "I think we were right about here." And all thoughts of anyone outside of the two of them flew away as they made up for lost time and stupid misunderstandings. For the first time in days, everything was finally perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Puckleberry lives!


	5. Phase 5: Lobsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the real plan gets revealed and a FRIENDS reference saves the day.

Phase 5: Lobsters

Sam couldn't shake the feeling that something horrible had happened while they were gone. It wasn't surprising given that he had absolutely zero faith in Santana's latest plan. Given the pathetic failure of her other plan, this was not necessarily surprising either. He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets as they walked up the driveway back to the house. It had been two hours since they arranged for their friends to be locked in the closet. During that time they had done everything in the book to avoid coming back home. Now, it was time to face the music and Sam was pretty certain that he was dead man walking.

"Will you stop sulking, Sammy?" Santana snapped, giving him a dirty look out the corner of her eye. "Everything is fine. There is no way they could have screwed this one up."

"Right," Sam agreed sarcastically. "Because with a great plan name like 'Phase 3: Fuck It!' how could it possibly go wrong?"

"You've got a lot of negativity there. It's not good. You've got to visualize the end result and force it into reality. You've got to believe, Sammy!"

Sam couldn't help but smile at the Boondocks' reference. "There is something very wrong with you. You do know that, right?"

"I'm aware," Santana grinned. "But you still like me anyway."

"Yeah. I guess, I kind of do." He slung an arm around her shoulders as they finally walked into the house. "What if they killed each other in the closet?"

"If Rachel killed Puck, then we flip a coin and see which of us has to move the body but I'm telling you now I'm rigging the coin toss. Puckerman isn't fat but that man is pretty much all muscle. And depending on how long ago she killed him, he's going to be a bitch and a half to move around. But if it's the other way around, then Puck and I have that covered."

"Seriously, I knew you two came up with your zombie apocalypse survival plan but a plan on who helps you move bodies in case of accidental murders? Unbelievable," Sam shook his head. "But who's to say that Puck even went with Rachel into the closet? I mean he looked pretty rough when we left."

"Well, then Rachel's got Mr. Wubbies to snuggle up with instead of a hyperventilating human baseball." She cocked her head to the side. "Better? At least now she's not lonely anymore."

He couldn't help but grin at the sassy response. "You're pure evil."

"Thanks, I try. Now, Sammy, close your eyes. You don't need to see what those two are most likely doing when we open those doors. It's too much for your virginal eyes."

"Just because I didn't sleep with half the school doesn't mean I'm a virgin you know," Sam protested meekly as he followed Santana up the stairs. She gave him a look over her shoulder that had him smiling again. It was really hard to be mad at the woman when she was in a mood like this. She was practically bouncing on her toes in front of his closed bedroom door. "Wait, did we close this?"

Santana's brow furrowed. "No, we did not."

Sam took a deep breath and opened the door, fully expecting to see a very angry (or dead) Puck and Rachel waiting for them. Instead he was faced with smug (he was seriously getting sick of that look too) Quinn and Blaine.

"What now?"

"And where are Puck and Rachel?" Santana chimed in.

"I don't know," Quinn waved a dismissive hand. "They got stuck in your closet, we let them out and then they ran out of here arguing. I heard Puck yelling something about packing something."

"Packing? As in leaving?" Sam asked, incredulously.

"Maybe," Blaine shrugged. "But that's so not the point. The point is you two are so busted!"

"We have proof!" Quinn pointed to his dresser where the bag of DVDs was now sitting. Sam raised an eyebrow. "Oh, not the DVDs. We know you're a little girl at heart. The proof is what's on the dresser."

Sam exchanged confused looks with Santana. They both walked over. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. His stuff was there and the usual crap that Santana left in his room. He stopped being surprised by it. Ever since they moved to New York, possibly even before then, Santana had been leaving things of hers with him. He never questioned it. It was just their thing. So he was a little off guard as to how this was proof of whatever Quinn and Blaine thought was going on.

"So nothing to say?"

"I have something," Santana raised a hand. "Last time I checked there are no proms around, so why are you actively batshit crazy right now?"

"That's what I said," Blaine muttered. Quinn glared in his direction and he cleared his throat. "Look, its ok. You two can admit it. We know the truth."

"And that is?"

"That you two are… you know."

"We know?"

"You know. You're…. you know."

Sam spluttered. "What? No! We're not. You know. Me and San… we're not. That's not us. We're not… no. Not that there is anything wrong with that because you know obviously yeah. But no we're not. Together. Me and her."

Santana raised an eyebrow even though Sam swore he saw her eyes flicker a bit. "I think they get it, Trouty Mouth. We're not together."

"Don't deny it. Look around. Santana's stuff is like all over. You two have been spending a lot of time together. You left drunken Rachel at a club and then spent the night together. You're watching chick flicks! Without us! So what else could that mean other than you're together?"

"That we're trying to get Puck and Rachel together?" Sam offered weakly. Blaine and Quinn stared at him blankly. With a long suffering sigh, Sam launched the tale of the past three days' events. "And that's pretty much where we are now."

Blaine and Quinn continued to look confused. They exchanged looks before turning back to the duo sitting opposite from them on the cluttered floor. "So let me get this straight. All of this has been to get Rachel and Puck together? The movies, the club, the closet... all of that was for them?"

"And you guys seriously thought we were together?" Santana smirked. "That's cute. Were you jealous, Q?"

Quinn flushed and looked down at her hands. "Actually I was more worried about Brittany."

"Sure you were, Q. Sure you were."

A loud slamming from down the hall cut off Quinn's no doubt brilliant retort and had all four of them scrambling to their feet. They reached the door in time to see Puck storming by with a duffle bag clutched in his hands. Rachel was stalking after him with tears streaming down her face.

"So that's it then?" she yelled at Puck's rapidly retreating form. "After everything we've been through. All our years of friendship, you're really just going to throw it all away?"

"Yeah, pretty much, Berry," Puck snapped, coming to a stop by the now open front door. "I'm sick of this shit and I don't want to do it anymore. So I'm out of here."

"Oh, that's great. Runaway when things get hard. You're such a child!"

"Hey!" Quinn yelled, interrupting the arguing pair. "What the hell is going on here?" Rachel turned her head upwards while Puck stared at his shoes. Quinn cleared her throat meaningfully. Finally Puck looked up slowly.

"Nothing, Q. It's just that…." Puck trailed off, licking his lips. "I have to go for awhile."

"What do you mean go for awhile?" Blaine asked hesitantly. "Go where?"

"I mean that I need to go back home... to Lima just for a litlte bit. Things are just a little too much for me right now and I have…" he trailed off again. "I can't be here."

Sam felt his heartbeat pick up. This was exactly what he thought was going to happen. He glanced over at Santana who was watching the scene unfold with a curiously blank look on her face. He was just hoping that this wasn't like the last time. He didn't think he could stand anymore schemes at this point. All he wanted was to fix this before he lost his best friend.

"But you'll be back in time for school, right?" Quinn asked.

"I think I might take the semester off," Puck murmured.

"Look," Sam rushed down the stairs so that he was standing in front of Puck. Rachel remained immobile in the middle of the staircase. He noticed that she was looking anywhere but at Puck. How the hell could he let it get this bad?

"Puck, you can't do this dude. This whole thing is my fault. Well, mine and Santana, but really I should have known better than to not stop her when she came up with this stupid idea. But basically everything this week has been a set up. We were trying to get you guys together because you're really in love with each other. I swear, it's true."

Puck lifted his gaze once more to meet Rachel. Her eyes were still swimming with tears. For a moment Sam thought he might have gotten through to them but they both looked away at the same moment. Puck hefted his bag so that it was on his shoulder.

"Even if what you're saying is true, dude, it's just too late. Things have been shitty for awhile now… and things have been said that can't be taken back. So I just need to get away. Clear my head. I'll call you as soon as I land."

Rachel sat down heavily on the stairs, leaning her head forward so that it rested on her hands. Her shoulders trembled faintly. Her hair surrounded her body, blocking her face from sight. Puck's face might as well have been hidden from sight for all that he could read there. He was totally shut down. This wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to be how everything ended.

"I hope you two are happy!" Blaine griped.

"Us?" Sam repeated, gaping at the former Warbler. "What the hell were you and Quinn doing while all this was going on? Oh yeah, running around with stupid theories about me and Santana."

"Yeah, well at least we weren't actively trying to push them apart! Who the hell is going to pay his half of the rent now, Sam? That shit ain't cheap!"

It pretty much dissolved from there as Quinn joined in the two men's argument. They were so lost in trying to blame one another that it took them a moment to register the strange and completely out of place sound. Someone was...clapping? All eyes turned to Santana who was still standing at the top of the stairs. In the midst of the all chaos, they had all ended up on the ground floor, save for Rachel who was curled up on the stairs and Santana, who was clapping.

"San, have you lost your ever loving mind some more?" Blaine asked slowly. "Why are you clapping?"

Santana didn't bother to respond. She continued to clap while staring at Puck. "That was good. That was really good. I'm impressed."

Puck looked up at her with wide eyes before a smirk pulled on his lips. "What gave us away?"

"Oh, I've pretty much known for awhile. I admit you almost had me at the beginning, but I figured it out after that. I just really wanted to see how far you were willing to go."

"Wait, what's going on?" Sam asked warily.

Rachel sat up at this point, pushing her hair back from her face. Tears were still streaming down her face but this time, Sam knew they were from the laughter that was still wracking her form. She wiped her eyes halfheartedly before a fresh wave of giggles overtook her.

"Okay, someone needs to explain what's going on…again," Quinn snapped.

"That was priceless!" Rachel exclaimed. "The looks on your faces was just great. And then Blaine started yelling about the rent! That was the best part!"

Puck rolled his eyes and held his hand out to her. She allowed him to help her onto her feet. The bag fell to the floor forgotten as his arms pulled her in close. He brushed his lips against hers briefly before smiling down at her. Sam would have found the gesture to be endearingly sweet if it wasn't for the fact that they had just royally punked them all. Well, all except for Santana. As usual the Pucktana connection remained undeniably strong. And he really didn't know why that made him want to punch Puck in the face.

"So I guess all those acting workshops that you picked Rachel up from paid off for you too," Blaine commented dryly. "Does anyone else feel emotionally violated at the moment?"

"Aw, emotional violation. It looks like we missed the show. Britt."

All eyes flickered towards the front door where the missing members of the New York gleeks were standing. Sam didn't know why but he felt a sense of peace that they were all back under the same roof again as well as a churning in his gut as he watched Brittany light up at the sight of Santana. Santana was smiling as well.

"Kurt? Britt? What are you guys doing here? I thought you weren't coming up until later this month," Quinn said, confusion evident.

"Well, Britt and I found some free time and decided it was time for us to check on our investment."

"Investment?"

"Yes, darling," Kurt beamed in Rachel and Puck's direction. "A little project I like to call Operation: Endgame."

"Wait," Sam held up a hand. "This whole mess was your idea?"

Blaine nodded his head thoughtfully. "Yeah, come to think of it, this whole thing just reeks of you."

"While I would be flattered and insulted by that, I'm afraid that I can't take sole responsibility for this wonderfully executed plan. My lovely partner in crime over here is the real driving force behind this operation."

"Brittany?" Puck nodded his head. "Yeah, I can totally see that."

"While it's nice that we're all friends and stuff, I wanted everyone to be where they belonged. I've been watching Friends and I remember when Rachel and Ross got together because he was her lobster. And he was her lobster in the end too," Brittany explained. "I thought it would be awesome if we could all find our lobsters like Kurt and Blaine did."

Blaine and Kurt exchanged soft looks at this and Sam once again found himself feeling jealous. Not so much of his two friends but rather of what they had. He glanced back at Brittany who was still talking. This time she was talking directly to Santana. He could feel the irrational feeling of anger once again but before he could say anything there was a small hand guiding him into the kitchen and away from everyone else.

"What the hell, Quinn?"

His blonde former girlfriend merely rolled her eyes at his tone. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you're not in love with Santana."

"Not this again. I already told you that we're not together."

"I got that, genius. But that's not what I asked you. I asked you to look me in the eye and tell me that you're not in love with her. And don't tell me that you love her. I know you do. I love her too. But I'm not in love with her. She's not my lobster. She's yours."

"You're really going to base this conversation on some ancient Friends reference?"

"Yes, Sam. I am. Because it's true. This whole episode of insanity has shown me that. You're in love with her. And you probably have been since high school." She smiled ruefully. "You and Puck have a lot more in common than a history of the same girlfriends. You're both too stupid to realize that the one closest to you is the one you're meant to be with. Only Puck got his act together. What are you waiting for?"

Sam ran a hand through his hair. This whole thing was becoming too surreal. He had been fine when everyone and everything was focused on Rachel and Puck. But now people were asking questions and looking too closely at something he didn't want to think about. He didn't want to acknowledge that feeling of absolute happiness he got when he was around Santana. He didn't want to acknowledge that the thought of her and Brittany together made him physically ill. He didn't want to acknowledge that the saddest memory he had from high school was not of Quinn cheating on him but rather of Santana leaving him for Brittany, right as he was finally realizing that their relationship was real and not about Quinn.

"I'm waiting, Sam. Tell me that you're not in love with her and I'll leave it alone."

He sighed. "What if I am in love with her? What then? What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Then you need to cowboy up and go get the girl!"

He chuckled. "In case you forgot, she's kind of with Brittany. You remember Brittany, kinda ditzy but really awesome. And kinda our friend?"

"I remember and I know. But Sam, if its one thing I've learned from life, it's that if it's meant to be, it's going to be. Puck and Rachel spent almost eight years trying to deny that one. Rachel thinks this thing between her and Puck started in sophomore year when they were dating but she's wrong. It started way before that. And they tried to find other people to fill the time with but it was always going to be them. Just like it was always going to be you and Santana."

"What about you and me? What if you're my lobster?"

Quinn smiled sadly. She stepped towards and pressed her lips against his. For the life of him, he tried to kiss her back. He tried to feel something but there was nothing. It was like kissing a really attractive wall.

"Still think I could be your lobster?"

Sam shook his head. "I don't want to hurt anyone, especially Brittany. It's like kicking a puppy. A really sweet, cute, fluffy puppy."

"Britt is not nearly as stupid as you all paint her to be. She's also not as weak. You just heard her, Sam. She said that she wanted us to find our lobsters like Kurt and Blaine. Did she mention her and Santana? Her girlfriend is standing right there in front of her and she's going on about the awesome love between two other people? Does that sound like the kind of person that's head over heels in love with Santana?"

"I am in love with her," Sam admitted. He felt a profound sense of relief at the admission. He had never said it aloud (well, not while he was sober anyway) but now it was out there. "But I can't lose her again, Quinn. I can't let her in like that and then she walks away from me."

"She's not me, Sam. She's San. Stop thinking about her like that. I know I hurt you. I know I screwed you up royally. Just like you screwed up royally by trying to use her to get back at me. And she screwed up by trying to use you to get back at Britt. Now you're both screwing up by denying the obvious." Sam chewed on his lip thoughtfully. "Just think about it for a minute before you go back out there. Really think about where you see yourself in ten years, fifty years, and who you see by your side. And then ask yourself what your next move should be."

Sam nodded. He closed his eyes and really thought about what Quinn was saying. And with a smile he realized that he didn't need to. The answer was obvious to him before his eyes were fully shut.  
______________________________________________  
Santana watched Quinn drag Sam away towards the kitchen with a satisfied smirk and a pang of regret in her heart. With years of practice she turned back to Brittany with a false air of cheeriness.

"So am I the shit or what? And I did it with three days to spare."

"Only one problem," Kurt pointed out. "You're still not done."

"What? Puck and Rachel are totally together. Sam and Quinn are pretty much guaranteed to be back together. Klaine is still going sickeningly strong. And me and Britts are together. So we're all matched up in our little incestuous grouping."

"Well two out of four isn't bad."

Santana felt her eye twitch as she stared at the former soprano singer. She was really considering smacking him but she got the feeling that she was missing something. Something big. She really hated that feeling. What was worse was that Puck and Brittany seemed to be on the same page as far as that something big. They were both giving her looks of sympathy and concern. She hated that look. She hated that look coming from them.

"San," Brittany stepped forward. She took Santana's hand in hers. "Do you love me?"

"Of course, I do. What kind of question is that?"

"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

She hesitated. She couldn't help it. She wanted to answer immediately like she had when Brittany questioned whether she loved her. But she had never lied to Brittany since they started this relationship and she wasn't going to start now. "I think I do."

"Then how did we go an entire week without talking and we were fine? You didn't miss me, San. And I didn't miss you either." Santana blinked away the sudden stinging in her eyes. It wasn't so much that Brittany didn't miss her but it was the realization that she really didn't miss Brittany during that time. "We're always going to have this thing but I don't think that we're forever."

"You broke up with Artie for me," Santana protested. "That has to mean something."

"Maybe it does," Brittany shrugged. "But we both wanted to know where this was going. And it's going nowhere. You're not my lobster."

"I know. I know I'm not," Santana whispered. "Just like I know that Artie probably is. He really loves you, you know? I know he does because he still talks about you on his Facebook page. I think he's just waiting for you to come back to him. And I think I've been waiting for that too."

"San…" Brittany started but she cut her off.

"I know it. And you know it too, Britt. You're right. We aren't forever. And I always knew that this was how it was going to play out. I'm just lucky you stuck with me for this long. It was always going to end like this. You and Artie are going to roll off into the sunset and I end up alone."

"You're not going to be alone. I'm not your lobster but Sam is."

Santana's eyes widened. "Sam is with Quinn. You saw them."

"Satan," Puck cut in finally. She almost forgot he and the others were in the room. "You really think Q and Sam are getting back together? You and Sam have been attached at the hip since we left Lima."

"That's true but he said it. He said that he regrets how it went down with Quinn! He said he'd always love her. And that's what it comes down to. He'll always love Quinn. Because Quinn is perfect! Quinn is the girl you marry and have babies with. I'm the girl you have fun with for a few hours until a girl like Quinn comes along."

"You really think that?"

Santana took a deep breath at the sudden voice behind her. Of course, she thought. This was her punishment for all the bad karma she racked up this week (and several others weeks as well). She turned slowly to see Sam and Quinn both staring at her with confusion and horror written all over their faces.

"San, you really think that?" Quinn repeated. "Because if you do, then you're crazier than I thought. You're not that kind of girl. I don't know if you ever really were."

"She's not," Sam confirmed with a smile. "Because I've been with you for the past seventy two hours and I'm definitely not bored. And Quinn came along and I'm still here."

"What are you saying, Sammy?"

"I'm saying I want to be your lobster," he grinned.

He walked further into the room until he was standing in front of her. She looked up at him and couldn't help but smile at the look in his eyes. It wasn't any different than the looks he normally gave her. But she couldn't finally admit to herself that she knew what they meant. She could finally admit to herself that she felt the same thing. Seeing the acceptance in her eyes, Sam pulled her into an embrace and rested his head against hers.

"Ready for the best years of your life?"

"Oh yeah, rock my world, Trouty Mouth." And when their lips met, Santana was forced to admit that her world was rocked just a little.

"Finally!" their friends chorused around them.

"Okay, okay," Blaine held his hands up in a time out gesture. "Let's recap here. Puck and Rachel are together?"

"Yes," Rachel beamed at Puck who still had his arms wrapped around her.

"Quinn and Sam are not together?"

"That would be a definite no," Quinn confirmed.

"Brittany and Santana are not together?"

"No more sweet lady kisses."

"Okay, great to know. But Sam and Santana are together?"

Santana knew she was meant to answer but she couldn't be bothered to tear herself away from Sam's lips in order to do so. She forgot that boy could use those lips for things other than scaring small children and counting the amount of tennis balls one could shove in there.

"And Kurt and I are together."

"Damn well better be."

"Then Operation: Endgame/Lobster was a rousing success. Now if you'll all excuse me, I've got a boyfriend to reacquaint myself with and a whole bunch of crazy to try and forget." Blaine bowed in the direction of his friends before dragging a not at all protesting Kurt off towards his room.

Quinn cleared her throat until Sam and Santana finally parted for air. The blonde raised an eyebrow and smirked knowingly. "Sam, if you hurt her, there are no words in the English language for the damage I will inflict on you." She then turned on Santana. "And if you for one minute ever talk about yourself like that again, there are no words for the damage I will inflict on you. You're fucking perfect. Okay?"

"Okay," Santana held up a pinky. Quinn smiled and looped her pinky around Santana's right one. Santana's left pinky was soon linked with Brittany's who was in turned linked with Rachel. "Girl's night?"

"Tomorrow night," Quinn said, letting go. "I think tonight should be couple's night."

"And what are you going to be doing?"

Quinn glanced at Brittany who nodded. "We're two single hot babes in the Hamptons. We're going to go to the beach and see what trouble we can find."

"I'm going to build a sandcastle."

"Or we're going to build a damn sandcastle," Quinn deflated. "You could have at least let me have that for a few minutes."

"Have what?" Brittany asked as the two girls walked up the stairs.

"Alone at last," Sam said as the two newly formed couples stood in the foyer.

"So, Samtana," Rachel grinned. "You two have anything you need to say to Noah?"

Sam pretended to think for a moment. "Nope, because I know that getting smacked in the head with a baseball bat was totally worth the outcome."

Puck nodded before punching Sam in the stomach. "It was but that was for the closet, you dick. You know I freaking hate tight spaces."

"It was Santana's idea!" Sam wheezed.

"Sell out," Santana retorted. Puck narrowed his eyes and stood in front of the girl. She looked up at him hesitantly. He didn't say a word as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks, Satan."

"You're welcome, Puckerman. Just remember you need to name your first adorable Jew baby after me."

Puck slung an arm around her shoulders as they drifted towards the den. "Hold up, I thought we agreed on the second and third."

"After all the work I've put in getting you a baby mama that actually wants your ass, you're lucky I'm not demanding you name all of your children after me."

"You do have a point. Fine then I expect at least two named after me and Rachel. If it wasn't for us, you'd still be riding the Sapphic Express and making sandcastles right now instead of sucking lips with Trouty Mouth."

"Fine. You have a deal."

Sam and Rachel followed in the wake of their significant others and best friends with amused smiles. "Do we get a say in any of this?"

"What do you think?" Santana asked over her shoulder.

"I think we should watch a movie," Sam suggested. "And I've got the perfect one too. It's called 'Second Time Around.'"

Santana smiled as Puck and Rachel both groaned and started loudly protesting his movie choice. While it was true Operation: Endgame didn't end quite as she thought it would, she was definitely not complaining about the outcome. Puck and Rachel were together. And so were she and Sam. She wasn't naïve enough to think that everything would be perfect from here on. She knew she would make her share of mistakes and so would Sam. But they were both willing to try and that was the most important thing. She hadn't been looking for a happily ever after. But she found hers anyway.


	6. Phase 6: Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a reunion, a pregnancy, an announcement and forgiveness.

Phase 6: Ever After

"Don't you think you're being a little bit childish? And that's coming from me. I'm a child. I'm allowed to act this way. But you? You're supposed to be the adult. You're supposed to have your shit more together."

Puck narrowed his eyes at the blonde teenager currently sitting on the counter-top beside him. A pair of matching hazel eyes met his and a familiar smirk curved her lips. She was the perfect mix of him and Quinn and damn if she wasn't one of the biggest pains in his ass. He really loved the hell out of this kid.

"Does your mother know you talk like this?"

"Which one?"

"The one that actually punishes you."

"Which one?" Beth repeated. "You realize you're the pushover parent here, right? Even bio mom punishes me. Or rather sends me to my room which is filled with fabulous stuff so it's not really a punishment per say. But you get the point."

"The point is that you want me to punish you?" Puck asked.

"No," she said quickly. "The point is that you're acting childish. So what bio mom is getting your old crew together? Why is that such a big deal?"

Puck sighed. There was really no way to describe the feeling of dread and anxiety he was feeling to his fifteen year old daughter. Hell, there was no way to describe it to his thirty year old wife either. She thought he was being as childish as Beth did, hence why he had been banished to the kitchen while everyone else prepared. It was difficult for him to understand it himself. He just knew that he didn't want to see them and he resented Quinn for inviting them back into their lives like this.

When they left Lima twelve years ago, he swore he was never going back. And save for that brief moment of insanity when he was contemplating hiding away from Rachel, he never thought about going back either. His mother had made it obvious before he left that he really didn't have a home there. Their relationship had always been strained but apparently she expected him to stick around Lima even after she had the nerve to let his father back into their lives. They were actually offended that he was planning on going to college and trying to make something of himself. He didn't bother trying to understand the logic. He just nodded his head and kept it moving. When he graduated eight years ago, he sent them a copy of his diploma and a note thanking them for never thinking he could make it. He made it just to spite them.

Before his junior year, he thought he would be stuck in Lima. That he would be a Lima loser like his father. But he made it out. He was now thirty years old, working as an architecture consultant at a fairly large, international firm, married to an amazingly beautiful woman and about to be a father… again. Four years ago, Shelby popped back into their lives wanting to be a part of Rachel's life, mostly at the urging of Beth, who wanted to get to know her sister and her biological parents. In the ensuing years, they learned to be a real family with Shelby freely sharing Beth with Puck and Quinn. Together they shared Beth for two weekends out of the month. Fortunately, they still lived in the same apartment building. It made traveling between parents easier when you could just take the stairs.

With the return of the daughter he was forced to give away, Puck felt truly happy. He had all the family he needed in his wife, friends and daughter. He didn't need the other gleeks. He didn't need to see them judging him as they always did. He was a grown man but the thought of having to be around the people that represented the lowest years of his life terrified him. He just didn't know how to explain all of this to everyone. Verbal communication of emotions and feelings would never be Puck's strong suit.

"Daddy?"

Puck looked up and found himself staring into Beth's wide, hazel eyes. The only thing he could think of was how Rachel was so right. No person in complete control of their emotional and mental faculties could resist those eyes. He was ready to give the teen whatever she wanted. Luckily, all she wanted at the moment was a hug. Those he gave freely. As he wrapped his daughter in his arms, Puck felt himself relaxing.

"It's going to be fine, dad."

"Oh, yeah? How do you know that?"

"Because you're fucking amazing and those losers would be totally fucking stupid to not recognize that."

"Watch your mouth," he chided halfheartedly. "But I guess you're right."

"You only guess?" she pulled back with a cheeky smile. "Dad, trust me. Tonight is going to be awesome! Those jerks won't know what hit them."

Puck smiled as well. "Yeah, I guess it will be pretty fun to see the looks on their faces when they see that we actually made it without them."

"See! Don't think of tonight as a torture session but rather as a way to get revenge on all those assholes."

"Language," he warned, more for the sake of it then actual concern. His smile got wider and he kissed Beth on the forehead. "I don't know what I would do without you, baby girl."

"I know. The sister-nieces aren't going to be nearly as fun as I am for about fifteen years. By then you'll be old."

"Stop calling them your sister-nieces! You make it sound like one of those cults. Or some creepy inbred family."

Beth gracefully arched an eyebrow and resembled her mother far too much for him not to be terrified. "Let's see, you and bio mom had me and gave me to Mom. Mom is also the bio mom to Rachel and that makes Rachel my sister. My sister Rachel is also your wife and currently carrying your twin spawn. The twin spawns being both my sisters and my nieces. Sister-nieces."

Puck made a face. "You're gross. Go to your room."

"Vetoing that," Beth smirked. "Rachel! Dad's trying to punish me for stupid reasons again!"

"Noah!"

Puck narrowed his eyes at the still smirking teen. "You're so on diaper duty every weekend for the first six months of their lives."

Her nose wrinkled but she ended up shrugging it off. "I can live with that. But you have to take me somewhere and I can bring anyone I want."

He knew this was going to be something he regretted. But really, she was his kid. Of course, he was going to end up saying yes to whatever she asked. He nodded his head.

"I want to go to the Aquarium with Aunt Brittany to see the seals," she managed to get out before exploding in a fit of giggles.

He was totally going to kick Sam's ass for telling her about that one. Just as soon as he dealt with the return of New Directions. That was the more immediate problem as the doorbell was ringing. He felt his heart seize for a brief moment. He wasn't ready for this. He didn't want this. But he would have to deal with it. He felt Beth brush a kiss against his cheek as she offered to go answer the door. He smirked.

This ought to be interesting.  
__________________________________________________  
Tina Cohen-Chang-Chang felt smug. It wasn't something she was used to feeling but there really weren't many other ways to be feeling in this type of situation. She, along with the other graduating members of New Directions and their director, had received invitations to the wedding of Quinn Fabray. They were also invited to a reunion of sorts before the wedding in order to catch up. It had been twelve years since they were all together under one roof. The New York gleeks had managed to avoid the ten year high school reunion. Tina supposed they had a good excuse. Rachel's first Tony nomination was worth ditching that lame reunion. The fact that she won just made Tina jealous that she hadn't insisted they go as well.

Unlike the majority of the people standing awkwardly behind her and Mike in front of Quinn's apartment door, Tina kept in touch with the New York gleeks. For three years of high school, they preached about being a family. But as soon as the eight of them had decided they were going to make their dreams come true, the so-called family fell apart. Tina knew it was more to do with jealousy than anything else. But it was petty and hurtful. She knew that several of them only accepted the invitation on the chance that they would get to see that they were right about them and that they were miserable. This is why Tina was feeling so smug.

"So you've been talking with them, right?" Mercedes asked before Tina could ring the doorbell. It was the fifth time she'd asked the question since they had met up at the hotel they were all staying at. "What are we expecting here?"

"I really don't know," Tina shrugged. "I haven't had a chance to talk to any of them in while. Been a little busy."

While it wasn't true that she hadn't talked to them in awhile, it was true that she was busy. She was a best selling author now. She had the number one bestselling graphic novel series in the country right now. This in addition to being a mom to her two and three year old sons. But she always made time to talk to her friends. The others didn't need to know that, however. It was much more amusing this way.

"Do you feel the urge to say, 'I know something you don't know' too?" Mike whispered in her ear. She kissed him on the cheek. She knew she married this man for a reason. She finally pressed the doorbell and waited for the fun to begin.

The front door was flung open to reveal a blonde teenage girl. She leaned casually in the doorway and eyed the group critically. "Yes?" the teen finally asked after several long moments of staring.

"Uh, we're here for Quinn Fabray?" Finn said, hesitantly. "Do we have the right apartment? Mercedes, I thought you said it was this way."

"I thought that's what the paper said."

Tina was glad that she was in the front and they couldn't see her eyes rolling. How did they not know who this girl was? Did none of them ever look at Quinn or Puck? Beth was the perfect combination of both of their features.

"You've got the right place but who are you?" Beth asked, with the air of boredom that only teenagers could muster. Her eyes flickered briefly to Tina and Mike and they could see the amusement hidden there. She was having fun. Too bad that fun was ruined by the six year old that suddenly slammed into Mike's leg.

"Uncle Mike!"

"Miguel!" Mike grinned as he scooped the child into his arms. "Hey, buddy!"

"Miguel!" Beth hissed. "You're not supposed to come to the door when there are strangers here."

"But Aunt Tina and Uncle Mike aren't strangers," Miguel retorted, wrinkling his nose in confusion. He looked down at his uncle that was currently still holding him up. "Are you?"

"No way, kiddo," Mike assured him. "But Beth is right. You need to be careful about who's at the door, even when if its just Aunt Tina or me."

"Hold up," Mercedes interrupted. "Did you say Beth? As in Beth…"

"As in Beth Diana Fabray-Puckerman-Corcoran . Nice to meet you," she smirked. "You coming in or what?"

Tina could barely contain her laughter as she pulled her oldest adopted niece into a quick hug. "Hey, sweetie."

"Hey, Aunt T. Tell me you have presents for me."

And by presents, Beth meant the usual advance copy of Tina's series. Beth was a huge fan and she loved that she got the new books before anyone else. It gave her a sense of satisfaction to drop hints amongst her friends that were also fans. Tina loved to support that evil streak. She pulled out the newest issue and handed it to the very excited teenager. Beth squealed, gave her one last hug before abandoning the doorway to no doubt find a spot to curl up and read.

"I guess we should go in," Will said lamely. Mike followed after Beth and was already seated in the spacious living room with Miguel on his lap. Beth was lying on the sofa opposite the one with Mike with her head already buried in the book.

Quinn was standing in the foyer beaming at her guests with the maniac energy she dedicated to the race for prom queen in junior year. "Welcome!"

"Turn it down a notch, Crazy," Puck's cranky voice could be heard coming from the kitchen. She paused in her scary beaming to glare at the kitchen next to them before turning her attention back to her so oblivious victims.

"Puck, stop being antisocial and get out here. Help Sam take their stuff into the guest room."

They heard him sigh before shuffling footsteps in two different directions revealed both Sam and Puck. Tina had seen them both recently so she didn't need to be amazed that twelve years had only made them hotter than they were in high school (where they both already pretty hot). This feeling was not shared by the other members of their party as Mercedes felt the need to gasp at the sheer hotness. Tina rolled her eyes. That ship sailed long ago.

"What's up, Chang Times Two," Puck grinned as he reached down to give Tina a hug. "How are Max and Leo?"

"Good. They're with my mom and they send their love. Thanks for the model you sent them. I don't think they'll ever get a chance to try and put it together since their father has been all over it," Tina raised her voice to be heard over Miguel. Mike looked fairly sheepish for a moment. "But thanks anyway, Puck."

"No problem. So come in, have a seat or whatever. Anything you want to put down apparently just hand it to me and Sammy over here. We're the glorified porters now."

Once they had unloaded their various coats, purses and bags to the two glorified porters, they moved to sit down in the living room. Tina noted that Mercedes and Finn were quick to sit the closest to Blaine and Kurt. Kurt had really been the only one to have at least periodic contact with someone outside their little family unit that wasn't Mike or Tina. She assumed that they must have felt more comfortable with those two. They would find out how mistaken they were. Kurt and Finn might be brothers by marriage but Kurt was brother to the New York gleeks by choice. And that loyalty was stronger.

"So, anyone want to explain who the kid is?" Mercedes started as everyone started to drift into the living room from the many different rooms in the apartment. "Also how many rooms does this place have?"

"Uh, four bedrooms, a living room, a dining room, a kitchen, three bathrooms and a veranda," Quinn rattled off as if she were reading her grocery list. But Tina knew her better than that. She was aware of what she was saying and she was going for the shock factor. And shocked they were but they were more shocked when Rachel finally joined them.

It had been less than a month since she last saw Rachel and damn if the woman hadn't damn near doubled in size during that time. Despite having almost three more months left, Rachel looked like she was about to give birth any minute now. And she looked like she was mentally ready for that as well. Tina didn't envy her in the least bit. Having a single pregnancy was hard enough but twins? Yeah, Rachel was definitely a stronger woman than her.

"Whoa, Rachel," Finn rose to his feet as he took in 'the one that got away'. "You look…."

"I'd think very carefully about what leaves your mouth," Kurt warned primly. "Your life might depend on it."

"Might?" Blaine snorted. "Oh that's right, you missed the dress fitting this afternoon. You might also want to hire a new tailor. Rachel kind of stabbed the current one."

Rachel flushed as she gently eased herself down on the sofa Beth was sprawled across. In a show of how comfortable they were with one another. Beth lifted her legs and allowed Rachel to sit down. She lowered her legs onto Rachel's lap once she had gotten settled. All this was accomplished without putting down the book once. Impressive.

"Don't be crude, Blaine. I didn't exactly stab her. She accidentally pierced her own skin with her pins. This just happened to be after I pointed out to her that it's inappropriate for her to make fun of my weight gain since the last fitting. I'm in the perfectly normal weight range for a woman my age and in my physical condition." She crossed her arms over her very swollen stomach. "Anyway, she was being a total bitch."

There was a shocked silence from the gleeks that were not familiar with her less formal speech. Tina knew for a fact that it had only gotten worse when she got pregnant. The crass language she used to chide Puck for was now a staple of her vocabulary.

"You're pregnant?!" Finn finally spoke again.

"You're observant," Rachel replied slowly. "Yes, Finn. I'm pregnant."

"Who's the father?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "My husband. Are there any further questions about my personal life? Something you haven't had a right to ask about since 2012."

Before Finn could further embarrass himself, Artie and Brittany appeared with beverages and snacks. After handing out the drinks, Artie wheeled his chair closer to the group and Brittany got comfortable on his lap. Since they got back together, Brittany and Artie had been pretty much inseparable. Tina was starting to believe that Brittany was attached to Artie's wheelchair in some way. As she was contemplating the ways in which to test this theory, Sam and Puck finally returned laughing and smiling at some joke between them. Miguel, who had gotten quieter once the others joined them, lit up at the sight of Sam. He sprang out of Mike's arms and ran straight to the blonde. Sam laughed and lifted the child up higher, eliciting a joyous laugh from the boy.

"Daddy!"

Mercedes choked on the drink she just took a sip from. "You have a kid?"

Sam looked down at Miguel. "Huh, is that what this little man child is? I guess he is half mine. So yeah, it appears that I do."

"It's like we're totally in the Twilight Zone here," Finn muttered. "Rachel is married and really pregnant. Sam has a kid."

"Named Miguel," Mercedes said, narrowing her eyes. "Where is Santana anyway? I mean we've seen most of you guys. Did you ditch her along the way or something?"

Miguel looked confused. Sam shushed him and whispered something in his ear. Most likely Sam was reminding Miguel that while they might not have the nicest things to say about his mother, cursing them out would not end well for him. "No me gusta," Miguel finally replied back, while glaring in Mercedes' direction.

"That makes two of us, Niño," Puck muttered. He flopped down on the end of the sofa that Rachel and Beth were seated. He draped an arm around his daughter, peering down at the book in her hands. "Oh, Tina gave you the newest one already? Let me see."

"No! You'll just hog it and it'll disappear into your room and I'll never see it again."

"Hey, I am not like your Uncle Sam. My room is not the negative zone."

"I've gotten better."

"Not by much," Santana joined the conversation. Tina frowned at how pale the woman looked. Her arms were wound around her stomach and she moved slowly. She mustered a weak smile for the others and sat down gratefully in the nearby armchair that Sam was guiding her towards. "I swear I thought Miguel was lost in there the other day."

"Miguel, defend daddy. Right we were just playing hide and seek?"

Miguel cocked his head to the side. "But mommy says I'm not supposed to lie."

Puck, Blaine and Kurt snickered not at all quietly, earning a dark glare from Sam. He tried to turn it on his young son still in his arms but Miguel's adorable face won yet again. Sam was grinning even as he hissed, "traitor."

"Don't be a hater, Trouty Mouth. Kid gets his brains and normal sized mouth from his momma," Santana smirked. "Q, if you're still in the kitchen, you think you could bring me those saltines and more ginger ale?"

Quinn was back in the room in less than a minute with the requested items and a concerned face. "You're still throwing up? You've been throwing up all day for like the last three days! Is everything okay? Do we need to go to the doctor? Should I call John? He's still at work but he can be back in like twenty minutes if it's an emergency. Do we have twenty minutes? Are you… d-y-i-n-g?"

"Whoa! Quinn, your crazy meter is like here," Santana reached up high. "I'm going to need it to be significantly lower before I enter a conversation with you. Okay?"

The blonde took a deep breath much to the amusement of everyone familiar with Quinn's mother hen routine. "Seriously, San, are you sure that everything is okay? You've been throwing up a lot and you're really pale. And I'm just worried about you. I don't want to go away if you're sick." Santana looked up at Sam who was standing behind her chair. "What is it?"

"It's just that we were trying to wait until Friday to tell you, after the wedding and stuff," Santana started looking uncharacteristically hesitant.

"Santana Maria Lopez! If you think that I care more about this stupid wedding than your health, then you really don't know me at all."

"Oh, you big drama queen. Fine!" she held her arms out. Sam caught the hint and carefully lowered Miguel so that he was seated on her lap. "Baby, you want to tell your aunts and uncles what me and daddy told you yesterday?"

"I'm going to be a big brother," Miguel reported with a resigned tone. "I really hope it's a not a sister. Girls are smelly."

"Watch it, midget!" Beth threatened earning a bop to the head from Rachel. "Damn midget solidarity."

"Congratulations, you guys. That's amazing!" Quinn gushed.

"Seriously. Like what the hell is going on here? Sam and Santana?" Finn asked, loudly.

Puck growled. "Beth, go to your room and take my little namesake with you."

Beth hesitated but caught the tense glares being thrown around the room. "Alright. So Miguelito, let's go pick out potentially embarrassing names for your new baby siblinh. If it's a girl it has to have Rachel as a middle name. So we need something really stupid to go in front."

Miguel looked between his parents and his older cousin before nodding. "Okay." He hopped off his mother's lap and let Beth pull him out of the room. Puck waited until he heard the door closing behind them before he was on his feet.

"Who the hell do you guys think you are coming in here and judging us? Yes, Sam and Santana are together. What does that have to do with you?"

"We're not judging you," Mercedes tried to diffuse the situation. "We were just shocked, that's all."

"Oh, please," Kurt scoffed. "Save that for someone who doesn't know you all. Quinn sends you all an invitation to her wedding and you all jumped at the chance. You probably were waiting to see how bad we all failed."

"And sorry to disappoint, but you can clearly see that we didn't," Blaine finished. "We made it despite what you all thought."

"You guys really felt that we thought you would fail?" Will looked appropriately ashamed. "I never thought…."

"Really? You never thought we would fail? You all but told Rachel that the day of graduation. You practically told her that she shouldn't be disappointed if Broadway didn't happen," Santana spat out. "Does that sound like someone who believed in any of us?"

"It's funny but I didn't hear anyone questioning whether Finn was going places," Quinn spoke up. "All we heard was about how Finn Hudson got a scholarship to Ohio State. He was going to be to the one to put Lima on the map. It's been twelve years. Either that's a really small map or you ended up being the Lima loser you accused Puck of being."

Puck's eyes widened even as Finn looked down at his shoes. Tina knew she, as well as everyone else in the room, was confused. Well she, Mercedes and Mike were confused. The others just looked murderous. Quinn smirked. "Didn't know I knew about that, did you, Puckerman? I was there at graduation when he told you that were never going to amount to anything. And he was so wrong about you. Just look around. The proof of how amazing you are is in the building we're living in."

"What does Puck have to do with the building?" Mercedes asked, curiously.

"I designed it," Puck answered absently. He blinked at the mother of his oldest child. Tina knew that of all of the New York gleeks, Puck was the most uncomfortable about this reunion. She also knew that he was probably the most thrown to know that it was planned with him in mind. He ran a hand through his short cropped hair. "You got them all here for me?"

"Not only for you but that played a big part," Quinn shrugged. "It wasn't just you that they said wasn't going to make it. No one believed in us but this family. I know you all thought I was just showing off that I was marrying a really awesome and hot doctor and live in a really amazing apartment. Don't get me wrong, I totally am. But I'm also showing off my family. You guys have been my family since you practically kidnapped me and made me come with you to New York."

Tina smiled at the looks on the faces of everyone in the room. She knew for a fact that the negative reactions Mercedes, Will and Finn had been the harshest to deal with when it came to their decision to leave. The friendship between Mercedes and Kurt had been strained over time. It completely collapsed when Mercedes realized that Kurt intended to continue with the plan to go to NY Fashion Institute even though she hadn't gotten into NYU. Mercedes just couldn't find the strength to be happy for her friend who was getting to follow his dreams. Will was just bitter about them going off to do what he never had the guts to do. He always dreamed of going to New York and making it big but he never had enough courage to actually follow his dreams. He was jealous that they had the courage and the talent.

As for Finn, well it was pretty similar to Will. Finn was the golden boy. He was the one that was going places. And yet, he was living at home with his parents, working at Burt's garage and sending the majority of his biweekly paychecks to his ex-wife and ten year old son that he almost never saw. So yeah, Finn probably had a lot to be jealous and bitter about. Tina was still pretty certain that he didn't have to be such a douche about it.

"Are you guys done yelling at each other yet?" Beth's voice floated down the hallway. "Miguel fell asleep and I'm totally bored over here. I'm going to start setting shit on fire."

"Language!" Rachel and Quinn chorused together.

"She's a Puckerman," Artie rolled his eyes. "It's like hardwired in their DNA to curse like sailors on shore leave. Watch out for the Pucklebabies, Rach."

"You forgot hot. We're also genetically engineered to be hot," Puck added with a wink. He turned towards the hallway. "Yeah, Beth. You can come back in now. It's safe. No blood has been shed."

"Good," Beth replied, stomping back in the room and flopping down in her previous spot with her father and sister. "John is a total girl when it comes to these couches."

"So this is Beth, huh?" Mercedes finally spoke. "She looks like both of you."

"Which means I'm gorgeous, right?" Beth grinned. "So which one of you is the one that wanted to name me Drizzle? Because I have to say that's kind of lame."

And with that, there appeared to be a shift amongst the New York gleeks. Beth's somewhat casual acceptance of the newcomers caused a break in the tension. Puck's hand that had clenched into a fist relaxed. He sat back on the couch and Rachel tucked herself up against his chest. On the other side, Beth leaned on his shoulder and resumed reading her book. Tina smiled at the scene. She knew from the day that he nervously sang 'Sweet Caroline' in front of them that it would be this way. She always knew Puckleberry was endgame.

Now that the tension had been resolved, to a certain extent, the conversations had shifted to what everyone had been up to during the twelve years since graduation. Mercedes was teaching at McKinley and was actually helping Will co-chair the glee club. Will and Emma had finally made it official. They were now the proud parents of two kids. Finn was actually strangely happy working in the garage. It turns out that he was pretty good at it.

"Quinn, do you have anything chocolate?"

Their blonde hostess made a face. "This is going to end up as something gross isn't it?"

Rachel pouted. "No. I just want to know if there is anything chocolate."

"Yeah, we still have some chocolate ice cream from the last girl's night."

"Oh, that's perfect! Noah, do you think you could bring me some ice cream and the tofu I bought over. And some of those pickles. That would be great."

"Me too! That's sounds delicious, midget," Santana added.

Puck grimaced but got up anyway. "The things I do for you, babe."

"Its cause you're whipped," Beth chimed in.

"Go to your room."

"Vetoing that. Mom, Dad's trying to punish me for telling the truth."

"Puck! Go get your wife and Santana their nasty cravings food and stop punishing our daughter because she's incredibly observant."

Puck narrowed his eyes before sighing heavily. The truth of the matter was that he was incredibly whipped by all of them, not just Santana and Rachel. The badass persona from high school was long gone and in his place was the man that would do anything for his family and friends. The man that had been there all along if anyone had ever bothered to actually look. Tina wasn't so sure that was a bad thing even if Puck's frequent complaints begged otherwise.

As Puck made his way into the kitchen, Tina got caught up in a conversation with Mercedes and Quinn reminiscing about some of their adventures as teenagers. She was so involved she failed to notice the person following Puck into the kitchen.  
__________________________________________________  
"Pickles, tofu and ice cream," Puck muttered as he looked around Quinn's kitchen. "That just sounds wrong." but if he couldn't deny Beth, there was no way he was going to be able to resist his wife, the mother of his kids. Hell, he couldn't even resist Santana who was closer to a sister than his own biological sister. Damn, he really was whipped.

He opened the refrigerator and pulled out the jar of pickles. He kneeled down to root for the package of tofu when he heard footsteps behind him. They were heavier and more hesitant than any of the others so he assumed that it was Finn. Puck shrugged and continued to look for the tofu, ignoring the lumbering presence behind him. Once he had finally located the elusive tofu, he turned around and smirked at his former best friend.

"Here for Round Two?" he asked, closing the refrigerator door with his hip.

"Actually," Finn sighed. "I'm here to say I'm sorry."

"That's unexpected. Continue."

"I was a douche in high school. I see that now. But everyone made me feel like I was really awesome. And people liked me. But I noticed that they liked you more. No matter what you did, steal an ATM, slushy people, knock up my girlfriend, people just liked you. And that really pissed me off. Especially since Rachel really liked you and I didn't get why."

"You said didn't get it. You get it now?"

"I actually do. Surprising, huh?" Finn grinned. It was a shadow of the former goofy smile he used to have in high school. "I told her that I loved her in spite of her flaws. I think you love her with them."

"I do," Puck agreed. "I love that she balances me out. Everything I've done is because she's been there to push me and remind me that I can do it."

Finn nodded. "So Beth….?"

Puck smiled at the thought of his daughter. "Yeah, Beth. Hudson, I would love to tell you that I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, but I'm not. Knowing my daughter and actually being around her, if I had to do everything in sophomore year all over again, I would. Because the end result was worth it. She's amazing."

"She's a lot like you," Finn said. "Which means she'll grow up to do really awesome things. I know you said that you're not really sorry about everything that happened, and I understand that. But I'm sorry about the way it ended. I shouldn't have said that to you at graduation. I guess I was just jealous."

"Of what? You and Rachel were still dating until you went and acted like an asshole before we left. So there was nothing for you to be jealous of. Nothing even happened between Rachel and I until junior year of college."

Finn nodded again. "Yeah, I know. But I wasn't jealous of you and Rachel. I was jealous of you and Sam."

Puck's eyes widened. "Whoa! I don't know what you've heard or possibly seen before those pictures were deleted but me and Sam are totally not like that."

"Uh, yeah, I meant I was jealous that Sam was your best friend."

"Oh…. Yeah."

"Yeah. Anyway, I was like pissed because you replaced me. With the new kid at that. I saw you and Artie were getting closer but then you and Sam just started hanging out all the time. And I was pissed. So when you came up to me at graduation, I just blurted that out and it was wrong. And I'm so sorry."

Puck crossed his arms over his chest and really looked at his former best friend. When he was seventeen and graduating, those words had really hurt. He felt that Finn was probably the one that knew him better than everyone around them and if he thought he was a Lima loser then he must be one. But as he slowly understood later, Finn Hudson didn't know him at all. He didn't know about his dreams, his insecurities or his fears. But Sam did. Because Sam took the time to figure all that stuff out. Just like he took the time to silently follow Finn into the kitchen. Puck caught a glimpse of blonde hair over Finn's shoulder and shook his head fondly.

"Look, we just grew apart, Hudson. Too much drama and bullshit between us," Puck shrugged. "It happens. But the past is the past. I don't focus on that anymore."

"Yeah, I guess it is best to just leave the past in the past," Finn agreed. He held up a fist. Puck bumped fists with him and smiled. "Maybe one of these days when Kurt and Blaine come home, you guys could come too. Burt and Mom talk about you all the time."

"I think that could work," Puck nodded. Finn gave him one last smile before walking out the kitchen. He tipped his head towards Sam in acknowledgement that he knew he was there the whole time. Sam shrugged and walked into the kitchen. He hopped up onto the one of the counters and waited until Puck moved up to join him.

"So how do you feel now?"

"Better? I don't know, dude. This whole night has been trippy as hell. Part of me is glad that me and Finn talked it out, and the other part is like pissed because it shouldn't matter what he thinks about me. I don't even know what I'm trying to say."

"That you're suffering from multiple personality disorder?"

"Shut up."

"I get what you're saying. You're happy because he was a part of your life. He was your best friend since you guys were like five. That's got to mean something. So the fact that he sees you're successful and knows he was wrong. That's pretty huge."

Puck leaned back against the wall. "When did you get so smart?"

"Probably when I got my Masters degree," Sam retorted, sticking out his tongue.

"Save that thing for your wife. Also really, Evans, baby number two? You ready for that?"

Sam smiled broadly. "I really am. Miguel wasn't planned but he's the best thing that's ever happened to me and Santana. I know neither of us really handle that pregnancy that well but I think we got it under control now."

That was the understatement of the century. Miguel's parents were unquestionably in love with him and completely devoted. In the beginning, however, they were arguing, breaking up and altogether falling apart. Santana found out she was pregnant a year and a half into their relationship. What she hadn't been telling anyone during that year and a half was that she was waiting for Sam to leave her like Brittany did. What Sam didn't tell anyone during that time was that he was waiting for Santana to leave him. When they found out they were having a baby, they were both waiting for the other to leave. So keeping in mind the success of the final phase, Rachel and Quinn locked the couple in a closet for about two hours. After they emerged, they had actually resolved their issues, were keeping the baby and engaged. Closets were now considered sacred amongst their family.

"Dude, did you ever think that we'd be here?" Puck asked, quietly amazed. "I mean we're married men with kids. And we're happy. I just never thought…."

"You never thought you'd leave Lima or be a good father. And you did both. You're in New York and Beth might be foulmouthed and sarcastic with a wicked streak a mile long, but she's a good kid. She loves you. So you're doing something right."

"I am aren't I?" Puck smiled proudly. "Thanks, Sammy."

"For?"

"Being my bro."

"Always."

"Puck!"

Both men jumped at the sudden interruption in their Hallmark moment. Brittany was practically bouncing in place with what Beth called the "anime sparkly eyes' which meant that she was super excited about something that was totally going to make him wish he had run away when he heard her coming. But it was too late and she was right in front of him. He shifted over to give her space on the counter between him and Sam.

"What's up, Britt?"

"Is it true? You're taking Beth and me to the aquarium this weekend?"

Sam snorted before slapping his hands over his mouth. Puck glared at him over Brittany's shoulder and tried to find a way to resist the anime eyes. Which was about as effective as all his other attempts at turning down the women in his life.

"Yeah, it's true. But no seals, Britt. I mean it."

"That's okay. They weren't really as into it as I thought they'd be. They just kind of laid there. Plus they smelled funny. Like the old lady that lives on the fifth floor in our building." She wrinkled her nose obviously recalling the woman's smell. And then the eyes were back on. "I was thinking penguins this time."

"Okay, but only if they consent. We're not getting busted trying to chuck a penguin over a fence like the last time."

"Penguins have significantly less body mass than seals."

Puck blinked and turned to Sam. "You in?"

"Duh. On the bright side, when we get caught this time at least I have a good excuse to miss Miguel's field trips there. And this time we can totally afford bail without having to like beg Rachel's dads."

"Yeah, we're totally moving up in the world. We now can afford to legally fund our illegal animal liberation movements," Puck chuckled.

"I'm going to keep one," Brittany chimed in. "I'm going to name him Mr. Nibblers."

They might have gotten older but things would never change. He should have known there was some underlying message behind tonight. There always was with Quinn. The woman was born to be a mother. Good thing she had willing subjects in her friends. He draped an arm around Brittany's shoulders contemplating how long it would take his wife or Santana to come in here looking for their disgusting combination of foods that should not go together ever.

"Dad! Mom wants to punish me for being a badass!"

Puck laughed. "Veto! Puckerman's are born to be badass."

"Trouty Mouth, bring that stuff in here or I swear you're sleeping on the sofa for the next twenty years."

Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed the forgotten pickles and tofu off the counter. He opened the freezer and pulled out the ice cream. "Yeah, yeah, coming, Satan!"

The more things changed, the more things stayed the same. And with a family like this, Puck hoped they always would.


End file.
